Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?
Different strokes for different folks. The ability of human beings to adapt themselves physically, mentally
as well
as
socially depends upon their health and fitness. In today’s world, Correct word choice
and
the
maximum number of people have bad habits and are oblivious to physical exercise. Correct article usage
a
This
is mainly because of advancements in technology and they have hectic schedules. This
essay shall intend
to delve into the main reasons and some preventive measures to overcome Wrong verb form
intends
this
issue in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, it is irrefutable
fact that humankind has increased tremendously and the current era is enriched with new innovations. Correct article usage
an irrefutable
Due to
this
, the
computers replace manual work and people do their work by sitting Correct article usage
apply
at
one place. Change preposition
in
Consequently
, this
sedentary lifestyle leads to the deterioration of physical fitness. Moreover
, nowadays the communities have a busy timetable. They do not have time to cook healthy for themselves and for their own kids. Their desire is to earn more and more money. Because of this
, they prefer to eat fast food such
as burgers, pizza
as these are easily approachable. Correct word choice
and pizza
As a result
, they suffer from multifarious perilous problems such
as blood
pressure, obesity, depression and other digestive issues. To illustrate it, a recent survey at Oxford University revealed that 90% of youngsters Correct word choice
high blood
have suffered
from Wrong verb form
suffer
flu
every year because they have very weak immunity.
Correct article usage
the flu
However
, in order to mitigate these obstacles not only the government but individuals should also
think out of the box. Firstly
, authorities should go the extra mile and make sports centres in open areas and these places must available
for everyone. SoAdd a missing verb
be available
that
, folks do some physical Correct word choice
apply
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
such
as yoga, play
football. In Correct word choice
and play
this
way, they are able to do some outdoor activities which strengthen their bones and muscles. Furthermore
, people should control their own tongue that
always Correct word choice
and
wishes
to eat unhygienic junk spices. They should become conscious of healthy eating and establish a fitness schedule.
In conclusion, the enhancement in the modern network, Correct subject-verb agreement
wish
as well as
nobody accentuates on
their health as they have no time are the two reasons why the communities are not physically fit. So, it is recommended that should be followed in an organized way so that everyone should know about the importance of being healthy.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by prabhjotkaur9520 on
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Task Response
Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main topic and contributes to the overall argument. Your essay should address all parts of the task question and show a clear position. In this case, some points are not directly related to the main topic, and the position is not clearly stated. Use topic sentences in each paragraph to clearly present the main idea of that paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay should be improved. Ensure that ideas are logically organized, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points. Additionally, use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences. This will help to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Lexical Resource
The lexical resource is adequate, but you could use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Also, ensure that words are used accurately and appropriately.
Grammatical Range
The grammatical range should be improved. Use a variety of complex sentence structures, verb forms, and grammatical constructions. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of articles.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?