Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?

#people #diet #exercises #reason #lifestyle

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Different strokes for different folks. The ability of human beings to adapt themselves physically, mentally

as well

Correct word choice

and

show examples

socially depends upon their health and fitness. In today’s world,

the

Correct article usage

show examples

maximum number of people have bad habits and are oblivious to physical exercise.

This

is mainly because of advancements in technology and they have hectic schedules.

This

essay

shall intend

Wrong verb form

intends

show examples

to delve into the main reasons and some preventive measures to overcome

this

issue in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, it is

irrefutable

Correct article usage

an irrefutable

show examples

fact that humankind has increased tremendously and the current era is enriched with new innovations.

Due to

this

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computers replace manual work and people do their work by sitting

Change preposition

show examples

one place.

Consequently

this

sedentary lifestyle leads to the deterioration of physical fitness.

Moreover

, nowadays the communities have a busy timetable. They do not have time to cook healthy for themselves and for their own kids. Their desire is to earn more and more money. Because of

this

, they prefer to eat fast food

such

as burgers,

pizza

Correct word choice

and pizza

show examples

as these are easily approachable.

As a result

, they suffer from multifarious perilous problems

such

blood

Correct word choice

high blood

show examples

pressure, obesity, depression and other digestive issues. To illustrate it, a recent survey at Oxford University revealed that 90% of youngsters

have suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

from

flu

Correct article usage

the flu

show examples

every year because they have very weak immunity.

However

, in order to mitigate these obstacles not only the government but individuals should

also

think out of the box.

Firstly

, authorities should go the extra mile and make sports centres in open areas and these places must

available

Add a missing verb

be available

show examples

for everyone. So

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, folks do some physical

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

such

as yoga,

play

Correct word choice

and play

show examples

football. In

this

way, they are able to do some outdoor activities which strengthen their bones and muscles.

Furthermore

, people should control their own tongue

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

always

wishes

Correct subject-verb agreement

wish

show examples

to eat unhygienic junk spices. They should become conscious of healthy eating and establish a fitness schedule. In conclusion, the enhancement in the modern network,

as well as

nobody accentuates

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their health as they have no time are the two reasons why the communities are not physically fit. So, it is recommended that should be followed in an organized way so that everyone should know about the importance of being healthy.

Submitted by prabhjotkaur9520 on Fri Nov 26 2021

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Task Response

Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main topic and contributes to the overall argument. Your essay should address all parts of the task question and show a clear position. In this case, some points are not directly related to the main topic, and the position is not clearly stated. Use topic sentences in each paragraph to clearly present the main idea of that paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay should be improved. Ensure that ideas are logically organized, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points. Additionally, use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences. This will help to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Lexical Resource

The lexical resource is adequate, but you could use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Also, ensure that words are used accurately and appropriately.

Grammatical Range

The grammatical range should be improved. Use a variety of complex sentence structures, verb forms, and grammatical constructions. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of articles.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

374 words

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Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?

Your opinion

HAPPINESS is considered very important in life Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a chil's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?