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Band 5.5

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?

#people #birth #thirties #development #support
These days, many people do late weddings and plan to have children
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
thirties
Correct pronoun usage
their thirties
show examples
instead
 of marrying at an early age. In my opinion, it is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a positive development and I support
this
 trend because parents can easily bring up their children
as well as
 they will have enough
time
 to settle in
life
 with good prospects.
Firstly
, nowadays it is costly to bring up a child in
this
 modern world.
This
 means
to say
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that parents have to spend a lot of money to give basic education to their offspring. They can utilize the
time
 to save money and plan ahead for their future before getting into a wedding commitment.
On the contrary
, if you marry at an early age, you will not have enough
time
 to manage both the family
as well as
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal responsibilities which would result in a stressful
life
.
For instance
, it has been reported that 70% of divorce rates were
due to
 early marriage and having kids without proper
plannings
Fix the agreement mistake
planning
show examples
.
Secondly
, another advantage
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 late marriage is that you will have more
time
 to look for better job opportunities.
This
 is because to have a good standard of living we should have enough income to manage the responsibilities of the family.
Furthermore
, we can lead a stress-free
life
 without worrying about our future commitments. It is an obvious fact that money is the source of happiness for many people to lead a successful
life
.
For example
, in ,India most families accept wedding proposals based on their monthly earnings which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 vital to involve in a family atmosphere.
To conclude
, in my opinion, it is a positive development with regards to settlement in
life
 with better career prospects
as well as
 raising children with good education to live a stress-free
life
.
Submitted by jeeanay on

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task
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point and provides clear examples to support the arguments.
coherence
Use a wider range of cohesive devices such as transition words and reference words to better connect ideas and create a more coherent structure.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
grammar
Work on varying your sentence structures and using more complex grammar forms to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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