IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that environment problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the
last
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 few years, there has been considerable degradation of the environment. Many people believe that
this
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 problem can be resolved
nation
Replace the word
national
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 wise.
However
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, in my opinion, it is a global issue and must be dealt with globally. The forthcoming paragraphs will elucidate both views in detail.
To begin
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 with, there could be numerous reasons why the environmental issue is better
to deal
Verb problem
dealt
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 with within one's own country.
Firstly
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, a country ought to have enough resources and knowledge to tackle its own problems so that they don't need to be dependent on others.
For instance
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, a flood had occurred in the Kedarnath temple
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 was controlled by
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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 Military and
authorities
Punctuation problem
authorities,
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 for which no aid was taken from other foreign countries.
Secondly
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, taking help from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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outside nations is expensive
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 the local democracy comes under debt once it borrows any amount.
Hence
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, the development of
such
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 a society comes to a standstill in repaying the owed amount.
On the other hand
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, some environmental problems
are
Verb problem
apply
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can be tackled unanimously all over the earth. In 2020, the entire world
had
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apply
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faced the deadly consequences of a pandemic of Covid-19. The whole world came together to fight
this
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 situation.
For example
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, the Americans invented a vaccination formula and gave it to India to produce vaccines on a large scale and distribute them throughout the world.
Furthermore
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, global warming is a cause for concern nowadays
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can not be resolved by any one state
,
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;
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 an attempt has to be
taken
Verb problem
made
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 by all the countries together to check it.
To conclude
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, bearing in mind the above information and
deliberating
Verb problem
considering
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 all facts, it can be deduced that
although
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 environmental issues
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
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 to be checked, there are some problems which can not be solved without the joint help of all the unions.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion. It should lead to your main points.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, like 'however', 'for example', and 'in addition'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
You presented both sides of the argument well, showing different perspectives on the issue. This is important for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Your conclusion nicely sums up the essay, reiterating your opinion and the main points discussed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • climate change
  • global collaboration
  • sustainable practices
  • international agreements
  • local issues
  • tailored solutions
  • accountability
  • economic interests
  • dual approach
  • environmental health
  • pollution management
  • resource-sharing
  • policy implementation
  • collective action
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