Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree ?
A lot of rich 
people
 nowadays try to help poor Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
This
 paper will investigate the  advantages of being rich. Eventually, I will highlight the most important factor about being  rich and draw my own conclusion.  In terms of some views, the most valuable thing that rich Linking Words
people
 can do is to help other  Use synonyms
people
. The main reason provided to support Use synonyms
this
 claim is that, if rich Linking Words
people
 help poor  Use synonyms
people
, the percentage of poverty in the world will decrease. To illustrate, there are a lot of  humanitarian institutions in the world that rely on the financial Use synonyms
aids
 received from the rich  companies and Fix the agreement mistake
aid
people
, and if these stakeholders don’t provide the needed amount of  money, Use synonyms
then
 there will not be enough resources to help the Linking Words
people
 in dire need. Use synonyms
Also
, when  rich Linking Words
people
 provide aid, Use synonyms
then
 Linking Words
this
 helps in promoting stability and peace in the world.  Linking Words
Moreover
, having a lot of money can guarantee other important things to Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
Firstly
,  being rich means there is enough money to guarantee a better quality of life. Linking Words
For example
,  rich parents can Linking Words
enroll
 their children in the best schools and provide Change the spelling
enrol
to 
them Change preposition
apply
the
 best Change preposition
with the
health  care
 system. Correct your spelling
healthcare
Also
, Linking Words
people
 who are rich; live a luxurious life, and can spoil themselves by  purchasing new cars and fancy houses.  In conclusion, though there are various things that can make rich Use synonyms
people
 happy, I believe  that the most important thing is helping poor Use synonyms
people
, because through helping other  Use synonyms
people
; many social problems will be eliminated, and a better quality of life will be provided  to everyone.Use synonyms
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite