Some people regard the video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect

in recent decades,

video

games

have

bocome

Correct your spelling

become

popular among

people

.some

individuals

argue that

palying

Correct your spelling

playing

video

games

have some benefit for them.

nevertheles

Correct your spelling

nevertheless

,others believe that

video

games

bring some counterproductive effects in their lives.from my point of view ,there are some advantages and disadvantages in that matter which

Change the capitalization

show examples

will explain here. on the one hand,it is true that nowadays, peoples live is filled with so much stress and

anxaiety

Correct your spelling

anxiety

to work hard and earn enough money.

therefore

, playing

games

can be a great factor for revealing their stress and

suppresing

Correct your spelling

suppressing

suppress

their worries. it helps them to empty their mind and can be relaxed for a while .

in addition

,some

jobes

Correct your spelling

jobs

show examples

need a creative mind and rich

imaginatoin

Correct your spelling

imagination

for example

people

who manufacture animations always need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

fresh

thought

Fix the agreement mistake

thoughts

show examples

and offer

particular

Add an article

the particular

a particular

show examples

idea

Fix the agreement mistake

ideas

show examples

.so some

games

make them creative and help them to come with new ideas.

on the other hand

,some

games

have

a great constructive effects

Correct the article-noun agreement

a great constructive effect

great constructive effects

show examples

people

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

. especially war

games

which make

individuals

more aggressive and

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

.it can have

Correct your spelling

serious

seriouse

Correct article usage

a seriouse

show examples

impact on families and

socity

Correct your spelling

society

actually

Add a comma

,actually

show examples

children are the

first

target of that matter.they are

Change preposition

under

show examples

the influence of their parents so if they treat them in

aggressive

Change the article

an aggressive

show examples

way ,children will feel unsupportive.

secondly

, playing

video

games

addictes

Correct your spelling

addicts

addicted

people

easily. some

individuals

have found

games

as a way to escape and sink themselves to it to forget their obstacles and problems.it has

also

brought some problems to

socity

Correct your spelling

society

too. in conclusion, it is right that

video

games

can entertain

individuals

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

various ways but it is obvious to me that has some counterproductive

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

people

and

socity

Correct your spelling

society

Submitted by maherfateme on Sun Nov 28 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard the video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the worls life expectancy is increasing. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?