We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries

It is a common belief that we may not help other

countries

in the

world

because we should only help our communities and

countries

. Personally, I completely disagree with

this

view. For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to just only help our

countries

or communities.

First

, there are many

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

show examples

around the

world

still

Correct pronoun usage

that still

show examples

have big troubles with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

food and drink.

For instance

, the supply

food

Change preposition

of food

show examples

or clean water in Africa

still

Add a missing verb

is still

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

big problem for the

people

there.

Secondly

, there are many big

countries

in the

world

have

Correct pronoun usage

that have

show examples

enough ability and

people

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wealthy country have an easy life, some rich

countries

could easily help the

people

there without losing anything.

Finally

, we are living

Change preposition

show examples

the same Earth, we’re the big family that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

we should help all

people

around the

world

, not only our

countries

. In my opinion, we should all be happy to

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

share with other nations due to the big profit we get in the future. When we help other

people

or communities, it means we

also

help ourselves because we can make new friends and improve communication. Not only that, when we help the poor, in many cases, we’ll be helped back in the future. In conclusion, it is clear that I don’t believe there is any reason available for us to just only help our society

Submitted by tonykim09 on Sun Nov 28 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?

Some people believe that old buildings should be protected by law. Others, however, think that they should be replaced by new buildings. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people belieye lhol reoding sfories from E book ls befier lhon wolching fV or ploying compuler gomes for children. To what exlenf do You ogtee ot disogree?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.