We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries

It is a common belief that we may not help other

countries

in the

world

because we should only help our communities and

countries

. Personally, I completely disagree with

this

view. For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to just only help our

countries

or communities.

First

, there are many

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

show examples

around the

world

still

Correct pronoun usage

that still

show examples

have big troubles with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

food and drink.

For instance

, the supply

food

Change preposition

of food

show examples

or clean water in Africa

still

Add a missing verb

is still

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

big problem for the

people

there.

Secondly

, there are many big

countries

in the

world

have

Correct pronoun usage

that have

show examples

enough ability and

people

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wealthy country have an easy life, some rich

countries

could easily help the

people

there without losing anything.

Finally

, we are living

Change preposition

show examples

the same Earth, we’re the big family that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

we should help all

people

around the

world

, not only our

countries

. In my opinion, we should all be happy to

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

share with other nations due to the big profit we get in the future. When we help other

people

or communities, it means we

also

help ourselves because we can make new friends and improve communication. Not only that, when we help the poor, in many cases, we’ll be helped back in the future. In conclusion, it is clear that I don’t believe there is any reason available for us to just only help our society

Submitted by tonykim09 on Sun Nov 28 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that the only benefit of working is the money that they earn. However, working provides other benefits as well. Apart from earning money, what are the benefits of working? What measures can be taken to ensure that everyone benefits from their work?

Do you agree that supermarkets are a threat to small shops and local communities?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In spite of techological advancement made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.