Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today
using
Wrong verb form
the use of
show examples
state-of-the-art technologies
such
Linking Words
as cellphone voice recorder and
security
Use synonyms
camera for controlling peoples’ behaviour are increasing that in numerous situations individuals are not aware of it.
This
Linking Words
essay will outline both pros and cons
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by my own take on
this
Linking Words
matter. On the plus side, the advantages of monitoring
people
Use synonyms
without their awareness are manifold.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
this
Linking Words
would decline crimes. Simply put, governments and policies can find offenders quickly by using cellphone tracking as they have access to
everyone
Change noun form
everyone's
show examples
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
and
setting
Change preposition
by setting
show examples
security
Use synonyms
cameras in cities. Take an accident as an example, the guilty driver may leave the crime sense but with the cameras in the streets, police are able to deter them.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
might install
security
Use synonyms
cameras to protect their properties in their homes. In
this
Linking Words
way, they would increase safety and avoid robbery.
However
Linking Words
, the downside cannot be ignored. Being unaware
about controlling
Change preposition
of control
show examples
would destroy individuals’ privacy. In fact, it
destruct’s
Verb problem
destroys
show examples
peoples’ calmness because they feel they are under the pressure of these devices which monitor them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
consider these cutting-edge technologies as abuse.
In other words
Linking Words
, they are concerned about their secrets and data that could be evolved so that others can abuse
this
Linking Words
information in various ways.
For instance
Linking Words
, asking for money for extorting. In conclusion, monitoring
people
Use synonyms
through some gadgets in places where
people
Use synonyms
are unaware of it can be both rewarding and problematic,
Although
Linking Words
I believe it may
effects
Change the verb form
effect
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
privacy and create some abuse, it is beneficial in terms of providing
security
Use synonyms
both
Add the preposition
with both
show examples
for society and dwellers.
Hence
Linking Words
the merits overweight the drawbacks.
Submitted by sa.parisa202 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Provide a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and presents a final opinion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction contains a clear thesis statement and the conclusion provides a final opinion on the topic.
lexical resource
Use a wider variety of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures, including complex and compound sentences, to enhance coherence and cohesion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: