In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Jail has long been perceived as a
common place
Correct your spelling
commonplace
show examples
for all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of
criminals
.
Nevertheless
, some people hold the view that
criminals
should be made to do community work due to the severity level of the crime. To be honest, I agree with
this
idea to every extent and
this
essay will clarify my opinion. There are several reasons to go along with
this
idea.
First
and foremost,
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
some perspective,
prison
may not be the ideal place for educating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals
. The fact remains that there are many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of
criminals
, ranging from murderers to drug sellers in the
prison
.
Therefore
, if less serious
criminals
are sent to jail, they’ll be
inflected
Correct your spelling
infected
show examples
by those negative thoughts of the serious
criminals
, leading to more and more
crimes
. Take Vietnam as an example, almost every people commit less serious
crimes
after taking a
prison
sentence, they even commit more serious
crimes
than they used to. On that platform, when being in
prison
, they may endure bullying which may affect them both mentally and physically. As an inevitable result, revenge will be planned and
crimes
will
be happened
Change to the active voice
happen
have happened
show examples
again. Those who object
community
Change preposition
to community
show examples
work for less serious
criminals
may agree that when they are in the perfect environment - outdoor,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
will escape and more
crimes
will
be appeared
Change to the active voice
appear
have appeared
show examples
.
However
, they should reconsider that working outside can help
criminals
interacting
Wrong verb form
interact
show examples
with good people.
Consequently
, their morale will change in
the
Change the article
a
show examples
positive way. In conclusion, with all of those aforementioned reasons, taking community service should be used for
criminals
with less serious
crimes
instead
of a
prison
sentence.
Submitted by tonykim09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: