Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers

It is a common belief that pursuing academic studies is a safer approach for high school graduates than following vocational

courses

However

, I believe that students should be encouraged to attend practical

courses

to become qualified

workers

. There are several factors that make learning academic

courses

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

a wise choice. One of which is that most employers have emphasized practical experiences rather than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge from university. Indeed,

people

who used to have internships or training often have a higher salary than those who didn't .

Besides

, many

people

can’t get a job after they graduate from

universities

Fix the agreement mistake

university

show examples

This

is because study programs in educational institutions are solely useful for those whose jobs will tip in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of academic knowledge, but only a small part of the labour force can meet all demands of these jobs.

As a result

, many graduates are unemployed, while there is a shortage of qualified labour. By encouraging

people

to attend vocational

courses

, it will partly reduce

this

problem. There are a number of reasons why more

people

must be trained in manual work.

Firstly

, practical

courses

will provide all the necessary knowledge for learners to be able to work right away without any obstacles.

This

makes them more highly appreciated in the recruitment round, as employers often don’t want to retrain their

workers

Secondly

, nowadays, there is a lack of qualified

workers

as electricians and plumbers while the citizens’ demand for electricity and water services still increases.

This

will force companies to offer more attractive opportunities for the labour market to entice them to land

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these jobs. In conclusion, becoming qualified manual

workers

will have many benefits in the future. It is clear that students should consider doing vocational training

instead

of attending universities.

Submitted by domaianh.uliser on Mon Nov 29 2021

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

skilled workers
vocational training
academic study
qualified
electricians
plumbers
technicians
hands-on experience
job market
infrastructure
economy
unemployment rates
consumer spending
educational paths
job satisfaction
societal resilience
versatile workforce

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Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?