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Band 5.5

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping malls will be for entertainment not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #malls #entertainment #shop
In the past shopping
malls
 are used to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 clothes and shoes but nowadays we can go to shopping
malls
 for different things
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
show examples
for instance
 we can buy clothes
Add the comma(s)
, in addition,
show examples
in addition
 have
fun
Add an article
a fun
show examples
 time too.I strongly agree with
this
 opinion that shopping
malls
 are going to be for entertainment.I will consider some
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for why I agree. At
first
,we all know most of the
people
 enjoy talking and spending their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 with lots of fun in
some where
Join the words
somewhere
show examples
 that include different things and experience new
sense
Replace the word
sensations
show examples
in
Add the comma(s)
, in this case,
show examples
this
 case I can start with my friends and I sometimes we want to
hangout
Correct your spelling
hang out
show examples
 where have restaurant,café,beauty salon and funfair.
Malls
 have a strong competition with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
 to
attrack
Correct your spelling
attract
attack
 more
people
 in spite of the fact that they have to spend more money
for example
 nowadays we can see they expand their facilities
such
 as bowling alleys,different bargains absolutely
thay
Correct your spelling
they
that
 are going to have more and more provision like
ballon
Correct your spelling
balloon
show examples
 rides,climbing walls,live concert,green area,different exhibition ,fitness class etc.Technology can have the most
Replace the word
effect
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 because if technology had a big improvement,it wouldn’t need to have stress while you shop online maybe we can touch and see with more details.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
this
 opinion
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 a scheduled plan because it needs big ground,lots of money and should consider all things for all group of
people
such
 as
disable
Change the form of the verb
disabled
show examples
people
 ,teenagers,families etc.To demonstrate they have to consider some machines for transport in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 place for disable
people
 or they should equip for unexpected disasters that can happen all time but can you think all the
authotities
Correct your spelling
authorities
 attention and responsible in all around the world? In conclusion, if
authoroties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 and
people
 considered all features,it would happen as soon as we imagine.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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