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Band 6.5

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefits more from this, the community or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses #community
There is a controversial notion heating a debate over the fact that numerous
youngsters
 in developed
nations
 are contributing their time to
communities
 in under-developed ones by doing
work
 without payment
such
 as teaching or erecting accommodations.
This
 essay is devoted to analyzing the underlying roots of
this
 situation and showing whether society or young
people
 benefited more from
this
.
To begin
 with, there is a wealth of culprits for the involvement of young
people
 in rich
countries
 doing volunteer
work
 in those poorer. Because in many parts of the world,
people
 have to live in bad conditions which they do not have enough ability to redress.
Hence
, young volunteers from developed
countries
 usually spend their time in these
nations
 in order to help unfortunate
people
 get through their hardships in life. Take the United
Nations
 as a convincing example,
this
 organisation has sent hundreds of young volunteers to Nigeria annually with a view to eradicating poverty in
this
 country by providing food and medical supplies, building homes and schools without gaining any expenses.
Therefore
, the main reason for the contribution of
youngsters
 in wealthy
nations
 to underprivileged ones is their desire to support others. By doing so, both the societies and these adolescents can have tremendous benefits. In terms of the
communities
 receiving assistance, they can address their severe issues so that
people
 living in these
countries
 will have
better living
Add a hyphen
better-living
show examples
 conditions. Regarding young
people
, through
this
work
, they can gain more experiences which can be added to the CV of their future occupations.
Furthermore
, their social circle can
also
 be extended since they can meet more
people
 who have the same common interests while doing volunteer
work
.
Consequently
, it is undeniable that not only the
communities
 but
also
 the
youngsters
 can gain valuable advantages through charities. In conclusion, the aspiration to assist others has been the main contributor to the fact that many adolescents in developed
countries
 are willing to volunteer in those deprived and from
this
 action both
communities
 and
youngsters
 can be benefited.
Submitted by hoctotnha on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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