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Band 5.5

Recycling is now an essential measure: it is time for everyone in society to become more responsible towards the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#measure #time #society #environment
Nowadays the amount of
garbage
 has reached cosmic proportions and threatens the existence of the Earth. I totally agree with the sentence that it is time for humanity to become more responsible towards the environment and I will try to prove it in
this
 essay.
Through
Change preposition
Throughout
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 the centuries, the history of human civilization
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 always related to processing natural resources and producing goods and services. Some archaeological finds suggested that in the bronze
age
Add a comma
age,
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 humans were forced to cut off most forests in Asia Minor and Near East in order to derive charcoal and to smelt the tools and arms from the ore. Nowadays, it is commonly believed that we all are living in a civilization based on oil processing.
And as
Correct word choice
As
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 it
widely known
Add the auxiliary verb
is widely known
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, the backside of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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oil processing is plastic
producing
Replace the word
production
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. Thanks to
this
 magnificent material it has been possible to create a global market oversaturated with consumer goods. Because of the cheap plastic and cheap petroleum products human well-being has never been so high as it can be seen now.
On the other hand
, the side effect of
this
 process
became
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the production of huge
garbage
 amounts.
While
 scientific and technical progress is taking place, more and more rubbish is been being produced by humanity.
Due to
this
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
 we have already faced dangerous climate changes,
Correct article usage
the disappearing
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disappearing
Replace the word
disappearance
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some
Change preposition
of some
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 biological species, deforestation and depletion of raw materials.
Moreover
, some people believe that most of the plastic
garbage
 is not buried in a landfill but is just thrown on land and
then
 ends up in rivers and oceans. Thanks to it the most conspicuous ocean rubbish congestion named the Great Pacific
garbage
 patch can be seen by the eye in space. In conclusion,
although
 the scientific-technical progress and processing of raw materials let humanity achieve prosperity that has never been so high, now we are faced with the challenge of recycling that needs to be fulfilled in the near future ,
otherwise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will have to pay too much price for the progress.
Submitted by pauleasy666 on

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task response
Well done on addressing the task by agreeing with the statement and providing relevant reasons and examples. However, make sure to fully address all aspects of the task to provide a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion with a clear logical structure, introduction, and conclusion. Keep this up by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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