IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
It is argued by one school of thought that in recent times,
worth
Add an article
the worth
show examples
 of a person is judged by his social status as well as material attractions. The values and morals which include honour, kindness and trust have become old-fashioned. I completely agree with
this
 notion. In today’s world of technology,
people
 are more amazed or inspired by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
materialistic things. What do I mean by
this
then
? These are the things which attract
people
 in terms of what they can see in that particular person,
such
 as, their luxurious lifestyle, their dressing etc. If we take an example of celebrities, most of them do not know how to behave with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 living in their society despite the fact that they are public figures or role models for their communities.
However
, when
people
 do some good deeds many of them immediately upload it on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media. From my perspective, if we are doing some gestures for the
people
 in our communities
then
 there is no point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 showing off.
For instance
, there is
this
 famous video in which it can be seen that a rich man is giving money to a beggar and
also
, clicking a photo. It shows
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 reality of
people
 in recent times. At
last
,
people
 nowadays attracts
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who are materialistically sound rather than those who do not have money but are ethically sound. After
thorough
Correct article usage
a thorough
show examples
 analysis
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
subject
Add an article
the subject
show examples
, it is predicted that if
people
 will be inspired by those who are good in terms of ethics
then
this
 will be a different world.
Submitted by sanireimoo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: