Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people . What physical and mental problems arise from excessive use of these games . How could this problems be reduced .

#doctors #computer #games #children #people

Nowadays

computer

games

are popular among youth and

children

. Advanced technology's make it easy to play

computer

games

Children

and the young generation are addicted to video

games

. At present ,

children

don't get enough space to play outdoor

games

like football, cricket, badminton etc especially our urban

children

for

this

reason they prefer to play

computer

games

in their home and other places. People are being attacked by different kinds of chronic illnesses

also

someone is losing their eyes power . Not only our

children

are being attacked by different kinds of diseases but

also

those who work in an office and they have to complete their work by using a

computer

also

they . Those who lead a sedentary lifestyle are to face various mental and physical problems .

For example

, my nephew who is addicted to

computer

games

already he have been attacked by some mental problems . In my opinion , we can take some steps to neutralise

this

problem . There needs some act like those who are under 18 they can't play these

games

. The advertising of these

games

on social media should be reduced . Parents should be careful about their

children

what kind of

games

they are playing on the

computer

are they are addicted or not . To sum up , those who are facing mental illness can consult with a psychologist . Acting some executive laws against

computer

games

we can decrease the excessive use of computers.

Submitted by paveldewan2000 on Fri Dec 03 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people . What physical and mental problems arise from excessive use of these games . How could this problems be reduced .

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You would like to join the local orchestra Write a letter of application to the orchestra. In the letter: - Introduce yourself and your instrument of choice - Explain how your credentials make you a good candidate - Express your enthusiasm for music Write 150 words .

You have lost an item of value on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letter: describe the item explain where and when you left it say what action you would like the company to take

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports in the media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. Huyen.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?