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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people . What physical and mental problems arise from excessive use of these games . How could this problems be reduced .

#doctors #computer #games #children #people
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Nowadays
computer
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games
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 are popular among youth and
children
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 . Advanced technology's make it easy to play
computer
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games
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 .
Children
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 and the young generation are addicted to video
games
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. At present ,
children
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 don't get enough space to play outdoor
games
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 like football, cricket, badminton etc especially our urban
children
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 for
this
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 reason they prefer to play
computer
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games
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 in their home and other places. People are being attacked by different kinds of chronic illnesses
also
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 someone is losing their eyes power . Not only our
children
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 are being attacked by different kinds of diseases but
also
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 those who work in an office and they have to complete their work by using a
computer
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also
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 they . Those who lead a sedentary lifestyle are to face various mental and physical problems .
For example
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 , my nephew who is addicted to
computer
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games
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 already he have been attacked by some mental problems . In my opinion , we can take some steps to neutralise
this
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 problem . There needs some act like those who are under 18 they can't play these
games
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 . The advertising of these
games
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 on social media should be reduced . Parents should be careful about their
children
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 what kind of
games
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 they are playing on the
computer
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 are they are addicted or not . To sum up , those who are facing mental illness can consult with a psychologist . Acting some executive laws against
computer
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games
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 we can decrease the excessive use of computers.
Submitted by paveldewan2000 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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