Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

In recent
society
,
people
compare
success
in two major ways.
majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
understands
Correct subject-verb agreement
understand
show examples
it as a way of earning
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money
while
others believe that scientists or teachers are the most successful as they contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
may
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that successful
people
are the individual who earns alot of
money
.
This
essay will discuss both views.
firstly
,
people
who earn
money
are the most successful
this
is because when someone can earn
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
money
,he or she can plan a good business which can eventually improve his or her economic status
for example
,I recently got a job with wonderful payroll
this
has
make
Change the verb form
made
show examples
me to build good residentials and to be honest
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do good outcome.The
money
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
get from the premises can be used to expand other business ideas that
initially
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
had planned like starting my own hospital.
This
is what we termed as
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Add an article
a
show examples
success
.
Nevertheless
,Scientists or teachers can
as well
Rephrase
also
show examples
be successful by contributing to
society
directl
Correct your spelling
directly
or indirectly these are seen when
actually
Rephrase
apply
show examples
our children perform well in schools and
this
can be seen as a
mojor
Correct your spelling
major
success
for teachers.Scientist
as well
Rephrase
also
show examples
helps us
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
weather analysis
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can help us
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
plan well during our planting seasons. In conclusion,
success
can be either seen when
people
are earning good
money
or contributions to
society
by
teaches
Correct your spelling
teachers
show examples
and scientists but on my side
Add a comma
,
show examples
I believe that only
people
that are earning can be most
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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