Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers #🔸discuss

In recent

society

people

compare

success

in two major ways.

majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

understands

Correct subject-verb agreement

understand

show examples

it as a way of earning

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

money

while

others believe that scientists or teachers are the most successful as they contribute to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

.in

Change preposition

apply

show examples

may

Correct your spelling

show examples

opinion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that successful

people

are the individual who earns alot of

money

This

essay will discuss both views.

firstly

people

who earn

money

are the most successful

this

is because when someone can earn

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good

money

,he or she can plan a good business which can eventually improve his or her economic status

for example

,I recently got a job with wonderful payroll

this

has

make

Change the verb form

made

show examples

me to build good residentials and to be honest

Change the capitalization

show examples

do good outcome.The

money

Change the capitalization

show examples

get from the premises can be used to expand other business ideas that

initially

Change the capitalization

show examples

had planned like starting my own hospital.

This

is what we termed as

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Add an article

show examples

success

Nevertheless

,Scientists or teachers can

as well

Rephrase

also

show examples

be successful by contributing to

society

directl

Correct your spelling

directly

or indirectly these are seen when

actually

Rephrase

apply

show examples

our children perform well in schools and

this

can be seen as a

mojor

Correct your spelling

major

success

for teachers.Scientist

as well

Rephrase

also

show examples

helps us

Change preposition

with

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

weather analysis

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can help us

Verb problem

apply

show examples

plan well during our planting seasons. In conclusion,

success

can be either seen when

people

are earning good

money

or contributions to

society

teaches

Correct your spelling

teachers

show examples

and scientists but on my side

Add a comma

show examples

I believe that only

people

that are earning can be most

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Fri Dec 03 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

245 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

People should follow the customs and tradition when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

Some believe in enrolling their children into the best schools so that they learn to socialize while others believe that homeschooling is a better option. Discuss both views and where do you stand on this topic?