Ecological balance is impossible to achieve when technological progress constantly ruins our environment. Do you agree?

Achieving a balance in the ecosystem is crucial because of the substantial impact of technological development that damages our
environment
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. I agree with the fact that
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
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in various technologies
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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harmful to the ecosystem.
This
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essay will elaborate on the same in the following paragraphs. Undeniably, to make
a
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apply
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progress in science, the resources used are
utilized
Verb problem
extracted
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from the
environment
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.
In other words
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, to set up a huge scientific laboratory or an industry,
Correct article usage
a
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massive land is needed.
Consequently
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, the land is made available by cutting down the forests.
However
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, forests play an incredible role in balancing the ecology. Resultantly, it aids in damage to the
environment
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.
For instance
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, a huge portion of the jungle around my village is now transformed into a cement factory
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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the pollution in my village
increased
Verb problem
has increased
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tremendously.
Furthermore
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, in the advent of technology, there is a substantial increase in the number of vehicles on
road
Correct article usage
the road
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. These vehicles emit harmful gases like carbon dioxide into the
environment
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. The gases are so toxic that they hamper not only the living beings but
also
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the seasonal patterns and air quality. To exemplify, in 'New Delhi',
a
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the
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capital city of India, the road traffic congestion in the
last
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year was really heavy and the population their black rain
as well as
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an increase in the number of patients, who suffered from respiratory tract diseases. In conclusion, as technology is growing, it is damaging the ecological balance to a great extent. In my opinion, I believe that the more the technology grows, the worse the ecosystem balance will be
observed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.

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Task response
The essay shows a clear stance, but it could give more view points and show how some tech can help the eco balance. add more details and a future idea.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the flow of ideas better. Use a simple plan: point, reason, example, result. Start each paragraph with a clear topic line. Use links like first, also, but, so, therefore.
Language/vocabulary
Use short, easy words. Fix small grammar errors and keep one idea in each sentence. Avoid long, fancy phrases.
content
The writer shows a clear view that tech harms nature.
example
A real place (New Delhi) is used to show impact.
structure
There is a plan to add more ideas in the text.
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