Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both.

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence

Nowadays, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

music

Add an article

the music

show examples

in every country and society. Some

people

think that

music

will bring drawbacks to individuals and society,

this

essays

Fix the agreement mistake

essay

show examples

will investigate both views but believes that it is beneficial to them. On the one hand, there are two primary reasons why it is a negative development. The main reason is that it is difficult for

people

to earn money through

music

. Not many musicians can become famous in the world, unpopular musicians will not be highly paid or even may not get a chance to perform.

Therefore

, learning

music

cannot allow individuals to get a high salary job and it may affect their incomes. Another reason is that

music

contributes nothing to society. Some professional jobs like doctors and scientists can contribute

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

city by providing services or inventing some new products that are beneficial to the world.

However

, musicians or artists will not enhance the development of the city, it may even take away the resources from other careers.

On the other hand

, there are two reasons why it has a positive influence.

Firstly

music

can help with

people

's mental health. When office workers or students face stress,

music

can help them release stress and reduce anxiety.

In addition

, when

people

feel

depress

Change the form of the verb

depressed

show examples

, listening to

music

can encourage them to become more optimistic.

Moreover

music

can bring

people

together. As

music

is all around us, citizens can talk about it with their friends and families.

For instance

, they can share their views on songs with others and it can improve their relationships. To conclude,

although

music

may have negative influences, its benefit still outweighs its drawbacks.

Submitted by chloelwy3905 on Sat Dec 04 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this is not justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The map details a town now and a proposed future layout

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is positive or a negative development?