Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
Use synonyms
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
in every country and society. Some
people
Use synonyms
think that
music
Use synonyms
will bring drawbacks to individuals and society,
this
Linking Words
essays
Fix the agreement mistake
essay
show examples
will investigate both views but believes that it is beneficial to them. On the one hand, there are two primary reasons why it is a negative development. The main reason is that it is difficult for
people
Use synonyms
to earn money through
music
Use synonyms
. Not many musicians can become famous in the world, unpopular musicians will not be highly paid or even may not get a chance to perform.
Therefore
Linking Words
, learning
music
Use synonyms
cannot allow individuals to get a high salary job and it may affect their incomes. Another reason is that
music
Use synonyms
contributes nothing to society. Some professional jobs like doctors and scientists can contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
city by providing services or inventing some new products that are beneficial to the world.
However
Linking Words
, musicians or artists will not enhance the development of the city, it may even take away the resources from other careers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are two reasons why it has a positive influence.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
can help with
people
Use synonyms
's mental health. When office workers or students face stress,
music
Use synonyms
can help them release stress and reduce anxiety.
In addition
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
feel
depress
Change the form of the verb
depressed
show examples
, listening to
music
Use synonyms
can encourage them to become more optimistic.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
can bring
people
Use synonyms
together. As
music
Use synonyms
is all around us, citizens can talk about it with their friends and families.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can share their views on songs with others and it can improve their relationships. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
music
Use synonyms
may have negative influences, its benefit still outweighs its drawbacks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Harmony
  • Melody
  • Rhythm
  • Socio-cultural
  • Artistic expression
  • Cognitive development
  • Soundtrack
  • Moral implications
  • Acoustic ecology
  • Intellectual property
  • Authenticity
  • Commercialization
  • Media literacy
  • Sensory overload
  • Acculturation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: