IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Prison is the best punishment for criminals. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#prison #punishment #criminals
In today's fast-paced world, the crime rate is becoming increasingly high.So how to deal with
this
 problem?Some people argue that locking up criminals is the best solution while others including me disagree with
this
 notion.
To begin
 with,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern jails is considered to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very comfortable place for their inmates as it is provided with all the amenities
such
 as luxurious beds,TVs, computers and sports facilities.
In other words
, sentencing prisoners with imprisonment is like sending them to a holiday camp.If the prison acts as a deterrent it should be tough to undergo. Another reason why I disagree with
this
 controversial issue is that not all offenders have a danger to society.To take an example of shoplifters,being in the same place with murders,rapists gives them the opportunity to learn how to commit much more serious crimes while they are inside.
On the other hand
,the penalty of being locked up provides the public with safety.To be more precise,having
such
 kind of hazardous people can harm the life of the residents of the city. To draw the conclusion, the penitentiary is believed to be the best way to punish,but I strongly believe that it can be too soft or can lead to much more serious crimes after being released.That's why violators like deliberate killers should be and must be sentenced with capital punishment.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: