IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government should spend money on rails rather than roads? to what extent do you agree or disagree

#government #money #rails #roads
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I totally agree with the thought that the government should spend more money on railways than
roads
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 due to many positive aspects. Rail transport is
pollution free
Add a hyphen
pollution-free
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 most of the time and can cover the long distance in
short
Add an article
a short
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 span of time, whereas
road
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travel
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 makes use of cars and other vehicles which emits pollution and contribute to
make
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making
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 our air polluted.
Road
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 travelling is expensive as compared to Rails. Many
people
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 can
travel
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 at a time in Rail
travel
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 than
car
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a car
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 where only individuals and their family can
travel
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 through
roads
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. Government can keep a count of
people
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 travelling across
cities
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 in rail
travel
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 whereas
people
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travel
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 by
road
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 has no count and records. It’s less expensive to maintain trains than the
roads
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. No doubts that the
road
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 helps us to connect two
cities
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 for day-to-day needs,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 the same thing can be achieved through trains
also
Linking Words
. With
train
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
travel
Add a comma
,travel
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 government can limit the transportation of
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
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 and
people
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 across the
cities
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.
Development
Correct article usage
The development
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 of more trains and the tracks gives employment to many
people
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, which indeed help us to improve our economy.
Roads
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 are more prone to accidents whereas
train
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 travels are safe and have very
less
Correct quantifier usage
few
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 chances of having accidents. No doubt, that for the immediate help
road
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travel
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 is the best, but for some needs where we seek immediate assistance can be availed within the
cities
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. To conclude, I would say
the
Correct article usage
apply
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train
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travel
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 is more convenient and can help us to improve the pollution level in the country. So I believe investing money
on
Change preposition
in
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train
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 and
the tracks development
Change to a genitive case
the development of the track
the track's development
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 will be more helpful for the country than spending money on
roads
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shailjameel2410 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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