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Band 4

Government should spend money on rails rather than roads? to what extent do you agree or disagree

#government #money #rails #roads
I totally agree with the thought that the government should spend more money on railways than
roads
 due to many positive aspects. Rail transport is
pollution free
Add a hyphen
pollution-free
show examples
 most of the time and can cover the long distance in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 span of time, whereas
road
travel
 makes use of cars and other vehicles which emits pollution and contribute to
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 our air polluted.
Road
 travelling is expensive as compared to Rails. Many
people
 can
travel
 at a time in Rail
travel
 than
car
Add an article
a car
show examples
 where only individuals and their family can
travel
 through
roads
. Government can keep a count of
people
 travelling across
cities
 in rail
travel
 whereas
people
travel
 by
road
 has no count and records. It’s less expensive to maintain trains than the
roads
. No doubts that the
road
 helps us to connect two
cities
 for day-to-day needs,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the same thing can be achieved through trains
also
. With
train
travel
Add a comma
,travel
show examples
 government can limit the transportation of
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 and
people
 across the
cities
.
Development
Correct article usage
The development
show examples
 of more trains and the tracks gives employment to many
people
, which indeed help us to improve our economy.
Roads
 are more prone to accidents whereas
train
 travels are safe and have very
less
Correct quantifier usage
few
show examples
 chances of having accidents. No doubt, that for the immediate help
road
travel
 is the best, but for some needs where we seek immediate assistance can be availed within the
cities
. To conclude, I would say
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
train
travel
 is more convenient and can help us to improve the pollution level in the country. So I believe investing money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
train
 and
the tracks development
Change to a genitive case
the development of the track
the track's development
show examples
 will be more helpful for the country than spending money on
roads
.
Submitted by shailjameel2410 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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