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Some people think that school and government should take responsibility to transport children to school. While some people think that parents should get children to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #government #responsibility #transport #children #parents
How
children
 go to
school
 safely is an important and everyday activity for both
schools
 and families. Nowadays, some people believe
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
level
Change the noun form
levels
show examples
,
such
 as
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should provide more
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 for the younger generation.
On the other hand
, some people think
parents
 have an obligation to bring their
children
 to
school
. In regards to the responsibility of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and
schools
, the significant opinion of
this
 group is
government
’s or
school
’s transport is to ensure the safety of the pupils. Undoubtedly, a
school
 bus filled with all pupils and trusted teachers is much safer than other public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 which are full of strangers with potential dangers.
Moreover
,
this
 special transportation specially designed for travelling to
school
 will be
efficient
Correct quantifier usage
more efficient
show examples
 and convenient than other
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
,
for example
, a line
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 bus, which route is long to meet the demand of general citizens.
Secondly
, the
united
Capitalize word
United
show examples
 transport is able to set
parents
 free for travelling their
children
 to
schools
. Another role of many
parents
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 employees, they are
also
 busy commuting to the workplace.
Nevertheless
, some people believe sending
children
 to
school
 by family is a more efficient and friendly way.
Firstly
, since students reside in different places
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the city, especially in metropolises, the
government
 or
school
 must design several routes to fulfil the needs of the majority of
children
. It will inevitably cost a lot. The cost may be better to invest in improving educational facilities and quality.
Additionally
, a family can develop the best route for their
children
,
for instance
, if a student’s house is
10-minute
Correct your spelling
10 minutes
walking
Replace the word
walk
show examples
 from her/his
school
, it is more efficient to walk to the
school
 than take
school
 buses. The second concern is, as some experts said, the
communicating
Replace the word
communication
show examples
 time for
parents
 and
children
 is less in the recent decade,
while
, the timing for taking the
children
 to
school
 is a good opportunity for a family chat. In conclusion, I think both could be applied.
Government
 and
schools
 can develop some routes to meet the demand of major
children
 that travel to
school
 safely. Simultaneously,
parents
 are free to bring their
children
 to
school
 if they have a more convenient solution.
Submitted by dancedance5 on

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Task Response
The essay addresses both views and provides a balanced opinion. However, some points could be more fully developed to strengthen the arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. The main points are well supported with relevant examples. However, some transitions could be used to improve the flow of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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