IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #crime #rates #degrees #rate #criminals #prison
Undoubtedly, lack of
education
 and
employment
opportunities
 are two of the primary causes behind the alarmingly increasing crime rates. In my opinion, I believe it is true, and I agree with
this
 view. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will be explaining my views. As they say, nobody is a born criminal. Most of the time, people become victims of their situations, turning toward
this
 wrong path. In fact, most of the people have poor strata as their backgrounds;
hence
, they don’t get to have proper
education
.
This
 results in lesser
employment
opportunities
 as well. Eventually, many of them turn into gangsters or thieves.
In contrast
,
such
 criminal tendencies can be seen lower in those who are educated. Educating convicted criminals in prison will certainly not erase their shoddy past.
However
, it improves their chances of finding
employment
 once they get released. One of the biggest problems that ex-prisoners face is the lack of rehabilitation
opportunities
. Society prefers to keep them at arm’s length, and as
such
, they have fewer
opportunities
 for making a living once they complete their sentence. Unfortunately,
this
 increases their chances of getting into crime again.
Education
 may change the situation for good. If prisoners receive an opportunity to learn and acquire vocational or academic degrees from prison, they are more likely to find
employment
 upon their release. When they have a secure job and a means of living, most people will not want to get into crime again.
However
, in a way, it might
also
 be true that mentality plays an essential role in the behaviour of a person;
education
 is one
such
 thing that leaves a significant impression behind.
Submitted by nutakkikrishna on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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