IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country
In
this
 modern busy world,it is generally claimed that immigrants should blend into the local culture and traditions of the host country.Honestly,I strongly agree with
this
 common point of view due to some valid reasons and in the following essay, I will explain my perspective. On the one hand, the majority of the people all around the world believe that newcomers should adopt overseas' customs and if they do not, they will undergo a cultural barrier.
For instance
, when you do not have any ideas of
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
legislations
Fix the agreement mistake
legislation
show examples
 you are probably going to break some rules.
For example
, drinking wine while you driving is forbidden in Canada and when you did not know
these kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
this kind
show examples
 of
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 you may do some illegal actions.
On the other hand
, in my opinion, when people emigrate to
another nations
Replace the adjective
another nation
other nations
show examples
 and they don't want to experience something like social isolation they must respect local inhabitants and their norms.A good illustration of
this
 is that when you be aware of their traditional festivals
such
 as Halloween,Christmas and etc and
also
 you know how to celebrate these ceremonies you can find local friends who might help you in many things in your new area,
moreover
, you can learn their original dishes and all of these things can
strength
Replace the word
strengthen
show examples
 your bond with citizens of that country. To conclude,it is widely accepted that respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 residential aspects can benefit you in many ways.Personally,I support
this
 position.
Finally
,the top_notch point is that adaptations will help you to survive in a new society,
however
,never forget your originality.
Submitted by ghafooriarya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: