IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that in some male-dominated societies, it is still widely believed that
men
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 are superior to
women
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 because they are more competitive and
therefore
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 achieve more.
While
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 it is unwise to dismiss all traditional ideas, I completely disagree with the argument that
men
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 are naturally more competitive than
women
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. In terms of sport,
women
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 have demonstrated a keen competitive spirit, equal to that of
men
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.
Firstly
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,
this
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 has long been obvious in Olympic sports, including very physical sports
such
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 as judo and taekwondo. In events
such
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 as show jumping,
women
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 compete against their male counterparts on equal terms.
Secondly
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, professionalism in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 has fostered a competitive spirit among
men
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 and
women
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equally
Rephrase
apply
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.
Women
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 footballers, tennis players and athletes,
for example
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, dedicate years of training to reach the top of their sport. From the perspective of work, sexist attitudes towards
women
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 are disappearing. They are no longer considered to be the weaker sex, prepared to see
men
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 fill the top jobs and to accept a subordinate role. The glass ceiling which used to exist, ensuring that
men
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 had all the positions of authority in the workplace, has been broken.
Women
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 now compete with
men
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 for executive or managerial positions, rather than being satisfied with traditionally feminine roles, like cleaning or serving coffee.
This
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 distorted view of
women
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 is rapidly vanishing, as
women
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 compete to prove themselves good team players, with talent and determination to show their intelligence and skills.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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