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Band 6.5

To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Do you agree or disagree ?

#happiness #relationships #people #friends #colleagues #wealth #occupations #second #place
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It is evident that the increasing pressures of today’s money-driven world can cause people to gravitate towards material items. A successful career and personal
happiness
 are not in pari passu. It is argued that in accomplishing personal
happiness
, a lot of things aside from work and
wealth
 come to play, things
such
 as relationships with your immediate family, friends, and colleagues.
This
 essay will discuss the lives of wealthy celebrities and the advice of older people who speak from experience.
Firstly
,
wealth
 can never buy true
happiness
. Even the holy bible said that “money is the root of all evil”. Take,
for instance
, the famous Michael Jackson who died unhappy and alone. He died due to depression. The popular rock star,
although
 being wealthy, died with so much sadness in his heart. If had someone to share his fears, problems, and worries, he probably would have still been alive today. Dr John Doe, a renowned mechanical engineer committed suicide before his 56th birthday in Angola. Until his untimely death, Dr Doe was among the richest people in Angola and West Africa as a whole. He died because he was not happy.
Wealth
, which often comes from labour does not bring with it true
happiness
.
Secondly
, Bill Gate wrote in his best selling books titled “Where does true
happiness
 comes from?” that after spending 82 years on the planet earth and with the amount of
wealth
 he accrued, he stated clearly that he’s so grateful for his family and his best friend, Abel Schultz. Abel helped Bill in building his multi-million dollar company in San Francisco, which is now the best Information Technology driven company in the world. Again, Bill wouldn’t have been able to accomplish all that he has without his family and friends. In summary, true
happiness
 does not come from being wealthy. Family, friends, and colleagues are the real catalysts to long-lasting
happiness
.
This
 can be seen from the real-life examples shown above.
Submitted by juliethaonguyen1993 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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