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Band 6

some people believe that the government should only pay attention to country's economic development while others believe that they should pay equal attention to all the sectors. Discuss both the views and give opinion?

#people #government #attention #country #development #sectors
The importance of economic
progress
 which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many
people
deem
Wrong verb form
deeming
show examples
 that it is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
part
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe that
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should develop
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
 of
progress
 which is equally important for better
nations
.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative of
this
 trend and give my opinion. There are
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 reasons why economic growth is important for a nation but the
first
 and foremost cause is better economic gives many things as
employeement
Correct your spelling
employment
, development, respect and most important fact is that their
people
 live
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. Good economic attracted
multi national
Correct your spelling
multinational
show examples
 company and they generated
employeement
Correct your spelling
employment
,
that is
 why their citizens have jobs and they earn enough money.
Well
Add the punctuation
,Well
show examples
 developed
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 has one path for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
nations
a nation
show examples
nations
 to develop many sectors and
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
easy
Add an article
an easy
show examples
 way for living life which is important for their
people
. Developing
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 is a gateway of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
 to become more advanced.
However
, there are some
nagate
Correct your spelling
negative
 of
this
 trend due to some
people
 deem that
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
sector
 of development is unimportant
part
 like health
sector
, education
sector
 and others. Education
sector
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is important for
people
 because educated
people
also
 build
nations
 it is
main
Add an article
the main
a main
show examples
part
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
Country
Add an article
A country
The country
show examples
 which is one type of building those sectors are blocks of
this
 building when those blocks would well
developed
Change the verb form
be developed
show examples
 that means building is automatically strong and developed.
That is
 why many
people
 favour
this
 view. To conclude, according to the argument one can reach
conclusion
Correct article usage
the conclusion
show examples
 is that economic
progress
 is important but in my opinion,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
part
 of
progress
 is equally significant of
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
 good
nations
. We can not ignore
this
 development.
Submitted by mp960021 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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