IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people believe that the government should only pay attention to country's economic development while others believe that they should pay equal attention to all the sectors. Discuss both the views and give opinion?

#people #government #attention #country #development #sectors
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The importance of economic
progress
Use synonyms
 which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many
people
Use synonyms
deem
Wrong verb form
deeming
show examples
 that it is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
part
Use synonyms
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe that
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should develop
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
 of
progress
Use synonyms
 which is equally important for better
nations
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative of
this
Linking Words
 trend and give my opinion. There are
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 reasons why economic growth is important for a nation but the
first
Linking Words
 and foremost cause is better economic gives many things as
employeement
Correct your spelling
employment
, development, respect and most important fact is that their
people
Use synonyms
 live
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. Good economic attracted
multi national
Correct your spelling
multinational
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 company and they generated
employeement
Correct your spelling
employment
,
that is
Linking Words
 why their citizens have jobs and they earn enough money.
Well
Add the punctuation
,Well
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 developed
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 has one path for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
nations
a nation
show examples
nations
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 to develop many sectors and
made
Wrong verb form
make
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easy
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an easy
show examples
 way for living life which is important for their
people
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. Developing
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 is a gateway of
nation
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the nation
a nation
show examples
 to become more advanced.
However
Linking Words
, there are some
nagate
Correct your spelling
negative
 of
this
Linking Words
 trend due to some
people
Use synonyms
 deem that
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 of development is unimportant
part
Use synonyms
 like health
sector
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, education
sector
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 and others. Education
sector
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is important for
people
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 because educated
people
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also
Linking Words
 build
nations
Use synonyms
 it is
main
Add an article
the main
a main
show examples
part
Use synonyms
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
Country
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A country
The country
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 which is one type of building those sectors are blocks of
this
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 building when those blocks would well
developed
Change the verb form
be developed
show examples
 that means building is automatically strong and developed.
That is
Linking Words
 why many
people
Use synonyms
 favour
this
Linking Words
 view. To conclude, according to the argument one can reach
conclusion
Correct article usage
the conclusion
show examples
 is that economic
progress
Use synonyms
 is important but in my opinion,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
part
Use synonyms
 of
progress
Use synonyms
 is equally significant of
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
 good
nations
Use synonyms
. We can not ignore
this
Linking Words
 development.
Submitted by mp960021 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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