Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenager #community #work #time #benefit #teenagers

It is believed by some individuals that young generation

Change the verb form

does

show examples

work

without for money which is beneficial for the society as well as individuals.

However

, In my opinion,

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show examples

partially agree with

this

notion and

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show examples

will elaborate more in upcoming paragraphs before reaching to

conclusion

Add an article

a conclusion

show examples

. There

are

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show examples

number

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a number

the number

show examples

of arguments which stands in favour of

teenagers

should

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

volunteer

work

in their free

time

. The

first

and foremost reason is that, if young people will do

upaid

Correct your spelling

unpaid

paid

work

in leisure

time

it would be beneficial for government as well as companies where they will

work

because of they will have less pressure to give

salary

to the workers.

Therefore

, expenditure can be spent on other areas

such

provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

shelter to poor people.

Secondly

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elderly

olderly

Correct article usage

the olderly

show examples

population will have numerous opportunity in order to get retirement pensions

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show examples

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

time

government

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the government

a government

show examples

have less burden. Another striking reason is that

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apply

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paying proper attention towards the other sectors like public transportation, good education system government can give priority to these fields. By doing

this

, the growth of

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

of the country will increase worldwide. On the flip side, some intellectuals believed that

teenagers

should be paid. The

first

prominent reason for

this

, they could be loyal towards their

work

if they will get

salary

Correct article usage

a salary

show examples

after done their

work

Secondly

, they can be independent and fulfil their basic amenities. To exemplify

this

, a person who is working with the company in free

time

and get

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

salary

from the company can easily survive in the world without any help and

also

get

apartment

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an apartment

show examples

for

live

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a live

show examples

and private vehicle to travel.

Thus

, it is essential for the organisation as well as

teenagers

for paid for

work

. Needless to say, they will have more encouragement in order to get their achievements. In conclusion, to some extent,

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believed that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it is

good

Change the article

a good

show examples

idea to do

work

without

salary

Correct article usage

a salary

show examples

, it is authority to

teenagers

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

their wages after

work

Submitted by vihit007 on Thu Dec 09 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

mandatory
community service
empathy
real-world issues
problem-solving skills
social skills
networks
constructive
detrimental activities
college applications
job resumes

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Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the government should pay money for large pieces of art, like sculptures for public display in outdoor places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, more and more prople choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy important food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food.

some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of moeny make people happy? what other things in life can make people happy?

Nowdays many students have the opportunity to study some or all of their course in a foreign country. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?