Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people . What physical and mental problems arise from excessive use of these games . How could this problems be reduced .

#doctors #computer #games #children #people

The problem of

computer

games

was increasing day by day. It has now become more controversial with many doctors are deeming that

computer

games

occur many

problems

among children and young humans. There are many

problems

related to

computer

games

that will

further

elaborate with

a possible messages

Correct the article-noun agreement

a possible message

possible messages

show examples

. On one hand, there are myriad

problems

why doctors are concerned about electronic

games

but the

first

and foremost one is that physical activity is reducing to playing too many

computer

games

That is

why offspring and young would not want to play outdoor activities and they prefer to play

video

games

at a place.

As a result

, they become lazy and obesity will be increased due to decrease outdoor activity.

For example

, If young age people are playing

computer

games

rather than outdoor

games

such

as cricket and football, they would invite decease like obesity.

Moreover

, people who are playing more

video

games

then

lost a chance to socialise.

This

is because they would spend 8 to 10 hours at a place,

therefore

,they do not meet new people and do not try to become social in their life. Step deal with the problem is not complex to neutralise. The

first

one is that we need some act like under 18 years children can not play and make some time limit on a

computer

as well as in the system.So It would have a chance to reduce not only playing hours but

also

stop becoming addicted to

video

games

. Apart from other possible measures are that Apiar can encourage outdoor activities

such

as walking, playing

games

and others.

This

, wing to children can learn about the value of the physical activity. To conclude,

although

problems

of electronic

games

are complex, the solution of these is partial and possible in the real world.It is helpful for decreasing hours of playing

video

games

Submitted by mp960021 on Thu Dec 09 2021

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people . What physical and mental problems arise from excessive use of these games . How could this problems be reduced .

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people judge success solely by money and material possessions. however, success can be achieved or measured in other ways. What are your opinion about this subject?

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't. what's your opinion?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?