being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems.

Living as a popular character in society,
for instance
as a movie star or a
sport
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sports
show examples
star, has some benefits and problems. According to my opinion, the good things about
this
issue are more
then
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than
show examples
its problems. I will explain
this
issue with some examples.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
being
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a celebrity provide you
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
lot of
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
and popularity.
Therefore
,  you are going to be a good role model for too many
people
all over the world. Famous personalities in
this
world have good money and
honor
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honour
show examples
, so that
way
they have a
relax
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relaxed
show examples
and
comfort
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comfortable
show examples
life just because of
this
, they are famous and rich. They can live
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
way
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
want.
However
, they are rich they receive more
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
enough respect from their
funs
Correct your spelling
fans
show examples
,
hence
living as a person with
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
is one of the
most good
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best
show examples
feeling
Change to a plural noun
feelings
show examples
that everyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to have
such
a good experience.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
they get a lot of love that
way
they will not feel alone.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
More
popular
people
have good influence among
people
so by doing good deeds they can easily inspire teenagers. To bring as example Rolando, he is one of the biggest
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
star
Fix the agreement mistake
stars
show examples
, who build too many charity
organization
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organizations
show examples
through he is helping
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
people
. So
people
who
is
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are
show examples
his fun in global will follow
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
habit of donating his money to poor
people
. That
way
he is going to be a good role model for them. To conclude, having
life
Replace the word
lived
show examples
a famous celebrity has more advantages rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
disadvantages.
Submitted by noorinahakimi5 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
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