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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014

The charts show the sale of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014
#show #sale #five #kinds #jam
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The line chart illustrates the amount of
five
Use synonyms
 kinds of
jam
Use synonyms
 sold in
five
Use synonyms
 years (2009to2014).
Overall
Linking Words
,
strawberry
Add an article
the strawberry
show examples
jam
Use synonyms
 had sold steadily in
five
Use synonyms
 years
whereas
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
sale
Correct article usage
the sale
show examples
 of plum has been the only one which plummeted in these
five
Use synonyms
 years. Out of
five
Use synonyms
 flavours of
Use synonyms
jam
Add a comma
,jam
show examples
 the
sale
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 grape
jam
Use synonyms
 elevated sharply from 2009 to 2014 as it decreased
accordingly
Linking Words
 in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of plum. A steady of 0.5% has been seen each
year
Use synonyms
 and it reached
around
Change the article
the around
show examples
4.5
Change the article
the 4.5%in
show examples
%in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 2014.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,plum starts from
2.5
Change the article
the 2.5%in
show examples
%in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 2009 and plunged constantly with 0 5% every
year
Use synonyms
 till it reaches 2014.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
cherry flavoured
Add a hyphen
cherry-flavoured
show examples
jam
Use synonyms
 showed a lot of fluctuations starting its
sale
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 1.8% in 2009 after that it slightly rose to 2.6%. At
Linking Words
last
Add a comma
,last
show examples
 there was a steady surge of 1% and it falls to 3.2
%in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2012 to 2014. Raspberry initiated around
2.8
Change the article
the 2.8%in
show examples
%in
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 2009 and upsurged to 3.5% and the
sale
Use synonyms
 reached around 5.2% ,from
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2012 to 2014 it got
stabalized
Correct your spelling
stabilized
stabilised
. Strawberry
sale
Use synonyms
 starts from 3%from 2009 and gradually rise to 3.5%. In 2010 a sharp rise has been observed and it reaches 5
%in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2012 and climbed to 7
%in
Use synonyms
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 (2014).
Submitted by simarsaini45316 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words five, jam, sale, year, %in with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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