success is often measured by wealth and material belonging. do you think wealth is the best measure of success? what makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #measure #person

It is believed that

money

and materialistic things manifest an individual

success

. In my point of view,

success

cannot be

measure

Wrong verb form

measured

show examples

by a

person

Replace the word

personal

show examples

bank balance.

However

, a successful

life

means achieving one’s goals, a good family relationship and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

. Affluence and objects own

buy

Correct your spelling

show examples

an individual are not the indicator of their

success

. most people in their entire

life

run after the

money

, believing that it can give them the greatest pleasure that they have

Add an article

a dream

show examples

dream

Wrong verb form

dreamed

show examples

about, but

Change preposition

show examples

the end what they most desire is the love from their loved ones.

For example

, a

person

earned a lot of

money

in his whole

life

, so that he can give his family all the facilities, but

Change preposition

show examples

the

end

Add a comma

,end

show examples

he will miss the support and bonding

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because through his entire course of

journey

Add an article

the journey

show examples

he has only focused on earning. It is said that

money

can’t buy happiness. the saying means that true happiness comes from within, not from possessions that can be bought. Each

person

sets a goal in their

life

which he makes effort to achieve it and at the final stage getting that goal

give

Add the particle

to give

show examples

him a sense of satisfaction which in terms means

Remove the article

apply

show examples

success

to them.

additionally

, having a good health and family relationship leads to a successful

life

for an individual. To conclude,

although

with

money

person

can purchase all the substance he

wish

Change the verb form

wishes

show examples

for ,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

to become a successful human being an individual should

focused

Change the verb form

focus

be focused

show examples

on his goals, health’s and family.

Submitted by RAJINA RAI on Fri Dec 10 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that school children should do their classwork individually. Other people believe that sometimes classwork should be done in small groups.
5.5
band
You want to sell your bicycle. Your friend has told you that his cousin might like to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend’s cousin. In your letter explain why you are selling the bicycle describe the bicycle and how much it will cost suggest a date when your friend’s cousin can come and see the bicycle Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ………………… You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
I hope you are in excellent health and great spirits. I am writing to you because your cousin who visited us last weekend informed me that you recently started to going for French classes and you are planning to purchase a bicycle for commute purposes. I have a bicycle which I have been planning to sell from a long time but I have been very busy from last couple of months, therefore I was not getting the time to take it out to sell.
7
band
Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qulification for success work?
Many companies are focusing on recruiting candidates with decent social competencies apart from acceptable qualifications. I personally agree that interpersonal skills are just as pivotal for workers' success as technical credentials for their benefits to keep the conduciveness of the office and help employers broaden networks through them.
4
band
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken?
The obesity problem is getting prevalent in various parts of the world. The body mass mean in certain countries is rising, while the health status has been excarebated. There are a handful of reasons for such change, including eating mishabits and changes in transportation. Each underlying cause has its ways to tackle; from public awareness to social sporting events.
8
band
The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the cause of this ? what can be done to solve this problem.
There is no denying that Earth is being destroyed by the manufacturing of final products. Experts believe that the consequences of spoiling environment will be seen in the nearest future unless making of consumables will not be minimized today. This discourse delves into the rationales behind this worrying issue, and subsequently, will put the panacea to arresting the worrying issue.

success is often measured by wealth and material belonging. do you think wealth is the best measure of success? what makes a successful person?

Fully explain your ideas

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qulification for success work?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the cause of this ? what can be done to solve this problem.