IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

success is often measured by wealth and material belonging. do you think wealth is the best measure of success? what makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #measure #person
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It is believed that
money
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 and materialistic things manifest an individual
success
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. In my point of view,
success
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 cannot be
measure
Wrong verb form
measured
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 by a
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person
Replace the word
personal
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 bank balance.
However
Linking Words
, a successful
life
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 means achieving one’s goals, a good family relationship and
a
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apply
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wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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. Affluence and objects own
buy
Correct your spelling
by
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 an individual are not the indicator of their
success
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. most people in their entire
life
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 run after the
money
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, believing that it can give them the greatest pleasure that they have
Add an article
a dream
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dream
Wrong verb form
dreamed
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 about, but
at
Change preposition
in
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 the end what they most desire is the love from their loved ones.
For example
Linking Words
, a
person
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 earned a lot of
money
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 in his whole
life
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, so that he can give his family all the facilities, but
at
Change preposition
in
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 the
end
Add a comma
,end
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 he will miss the support and bonding
,
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apply
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 because through his entire course of
journey
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the journey
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 he has only focused on earning. It is said that
money
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 can’t buy happiness. the saying means that true happiness comes from within, not from possessions that can be bought. Each
person
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 sets a goal in their
life
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 which he makes effort to achieve it and at the final stage getting that goal
give
Add the particle
to give
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 him a sense of satisfaction which in terms means
a
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apply
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success
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 to them.
additionally
Linking Words
, having a good health and family relationship leads to a successful
life
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 for an individual. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 with
money
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 a
person
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 can purchase all the substance he
wish
Change the verb form
wishes
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 for ,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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to become a successful human being an individual should
focused
Change the verb form
focus
be focused
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 on his goals, health’s and family.
Submitted by RAJINA RAI on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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