Establishing good relationship in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationship #workplace #person #focus #work

It is a debatable issue that people should need to indulge their self in

work

as their

first

priority

instead

to make the better

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

with the

company

. Actually, I disagree with

this

statement because multinational companies do their

work

in group assignments which helps to boost the productivity and efficiency of the

work

Firstly

, employees

work

team

Add an article

a team

show examples

so, they share their thoughts with

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

which would help them to make

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

presentation

Replace the word

presents

show examples

for their clients.

For instance

, if I talked me, I am working in

company

Add an article

the company

a company

show examples

as a project manager, I have so many

task

Change to a plural noun

tasks

show examples

so I prefer

work

in a team which allow me to think out of the box

make

Change the form of the verb

made

show examples

of times my assistant came to me with creative ideas as well as every task have deadlines so, need to complete in give time and budget.

Secondly

,most of

staff

Add an article

the staff

show examples

members spend their time in a

company

therefore

, it is very important they have good understanding and trust which allows them

comfortable

Add an article

a comfortable

show examples

environment to share their problem with each other.

Furthermore

, it

refresh

Change the verb form

refreshes

show examples

their mind and they enjoy their

work

and get promoted with good salaries. In conclusion,

although

Change the article

show examples

employee,

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

productive

work

to the

company

is their priority, it will not achievable without

cooperation

Add an article

the cooperation

show examples

of their fellow employees so, balance is things properly in every stage of the

company

is very important as well.

Submitted by grewalpt1249 on Fri Dec 10 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

230 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Establishing good relationship in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer.

Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use Of use of energy (for example electricity, gas). Thus some companies Cole for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?