IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #cities #face #life #government #move #towns
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It is true that
the
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apply
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urban
people
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 are more prone to encounter different challenges in daily
life
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 when compared to
the
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apply
show examples
people
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 living rather than big
cities
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. In general, there are many possible problematic causes to them which will be mentioned in
this
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 essay before describing whether government persuades those
people
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 living in busy
cities
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 to choose other peripheral places. Obviously, many
people
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 from
remote
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the remote
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 or rural
area
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areas
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 have migrated to the larger
cities
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,
resulting
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inresulting
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 crowded in the
cities
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center
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centre
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 with
consequent
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the consequent
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 result of bearing a lot of burdens on them. One of the problems is that daily expenses in
cities
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 are far more huge than that of secondary towns so that it can make
people
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 more stressed for earning money for it, leading to more competitions not only in
bussiness
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business
 industries but
also
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 in employees.
Therefore
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 it will eventually cause
financial
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a financial
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 burden to the metropolitan
people
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.
Moreover
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, they will lose their valuable social
life
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 with
imbalance
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an imbalance
the imbalance
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 between work and
life
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.
People
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 will get depressed with
many
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much
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 unsolved work
bussiness
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business
 when they cannot have
breaktime
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break time
show examples
 or an opportunity to talk with their loved ones. To relieve
stress
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the stress
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 of
people
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 living in
the
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apply
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captials
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capitals
capital
, only government can manage it in terms of creating job opportunities and public places for them to move to
the
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apply
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remote areas.
First
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 of all, local authorized
people
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 allow new business developments into their area, displaying many chances to get vacant jobs for their earning. If there is a way to live in
remote
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a remote
the remote
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 town, city
people
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 will surely move there for better
life
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 situation without much rivalries between colleagues like in the crowded
cities
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center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Secondly
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, more
facilites
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facilities
 for the
staffs
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staff
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 should be implemented in their workplace in
rural
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a rural
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 so that city
people
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 will be interested to migrate and
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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 there for a better quality of
life
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 as they get in large
captials
Correct your spelling
capitals
capital
. In conclusion, higher authorized
people
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 should allocate the
people
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 to the remote areas despite that
people
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 have a lot
worries
Change preposition
of worries
show examples
 in the
cities
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.
Submitted by thida.san71891 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban congestion
  • traffic jams
  • lengthy commutes
  • high cost of living
  • financial strain
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • quality of life
  • green space
  • recreational areas
  • social isolation
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • public services strain
  • overpopulation
What to do next:
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