IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
The growth of electronic commerce will lead to closing shops in cities. according to some, e-commerce should be restrained in all areas. In my opinion, I strongly disagree that e-shopping to be common in cities or towns because it does not have more benefits for both
people
 and business owners. A good reason to keep in-person shopping is that it may close enormous places in which
people
 go there to entertain. Over the years, shopping malls are turned into a place where there exists a lot of entertainment. Many families go shopping as an amusement not just for shopping. especially, the women
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in shopping or even window shopping. Nowadays there are a great number of food courts and playgrounds for kids in shopping malls. Indeed, going shopping is desirable for lots of
people
 in societies. Another point to consider is that being no e-commerce is retail stores should not be closed. When small shops have to quit their jobs that it results in a huge number of folks giving their jobs up. So it increases the number of unemployed in the communities.
Then
, it causes a rise in the crime rate.
Hence
, these societies will not have social security. insecurity in communities is not the interest of the
people
.
Finally
, when
people
 are buying the commodities by surfing on the virtual space, they cannot evaluate their size or quality. While in-person shopping is a position that
people
 can be certain about the goods which purchase them. Sometimes, they waste not only their money but
also
 their time. As a good result,
Add an article
an
show examples
e-commerce that leads to close the stores, it can cause to decrease the entertaining activities and loss of small businesses or losing folk's trust in the quality and the size of goods.
Submitted by arastoo_2731 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: