You have seen a job advertised in the newspaper. You want to apply for the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter

#job #newspaper #manager #company

Dear sir/madam, I am writing

this

letter to you regarding

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apply

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the position that you have been advertised in the newspaper yesterday, which I am really interested to apply for

this

job. My name is June Chan, I am a

chinese

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Chinese

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Malaysian. I

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Correct your spelling

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a qualified baker, I have been worked in the Sunray bakery for 2 years, due to my family reason I must to leave the job that I really like and

relocated

Wrong verb form

relocate

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Mildura. I can make

lot

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a lot

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of different

desserts

asian

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Asian

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and western

such

as cheesecake, mouse-cake, lemon pie, egg tart and so much more. My

desserts

are especially famous and well-liked in the city.

Therefore

, I would like to apply

the

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for the

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position to keep

make

Wrong verb form

making

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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famous

desserts

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for

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the local people. Could you please let me know when is the best time that I could bring my resume and references to you,

also

I can bring some

desserts

for you, and give me your feedback

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show examples

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you. Yours faithfully June

Submitted by junechan822 on Sun Dec 12 2021

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

173 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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