Some people do not go directly to college but travel or work for a short time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

During these modern days,
students
have an opportunity to earn before even completing their academic calendar due to technology.Some individuals get employed or go on a vacation for a limited time rather than going to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college as soon.The drawbacks are more than merits since the
students
have a high chance of early marriage and dropping out of
school
Firstly
,learners who travel or work before attending college find themselves having responsibilities just by the touch of money.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
ideally they end up getting married.Due to the technology being prominent that they get exposed in a way they forget about education.
In addition
,just being away from the learning environment keep the thought of going back to
school
away.
For example
,in 2019 the star newspapers reported that public vehicle conductors are
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
four leavers with high grades.
Therefore
,it is apparent that the exposure of not going on with schooling is high once the scholar travel or work before going to an institute.
Secondly
,dropping out of
school
is a major consequence especially when an undergraduate has tasted money that they feel held on from earning or going for vacations.
Consequently
,they perform badly as their interest is disrupted from the usual flow of being in a learning environment,
For example
,in
Rwanda
Add a comma
,Rwanda
show examples
the government published a policy in 2021 for the transition of
students
from secondary to university.Indeed,in the modern world
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to traditional times
school
dropout is high and again many
students
in higher learning are multitasking. To sum up,the society stopped reporting immediately to university rather
go
Change preposition
than go
show examples
abroad or labour for a short time has led to several scholars be multitasking due to many
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • self-discovery
  • character-building
  • enhanced
  • independence
  • adaptability
  • interpersonal skills
  • open-mindedness
  • global perspective
  • delayed
  • employment prospects
  • financial burden
  • educational attainment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: