Some people do not go directly to college but travel or work for a short time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

During these modern days,

students

Use synonyms

have an opportunity to earn before even completing their academic calendar due to technology.Some individuals get employed or go on a vacation for a limited time rather than going to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college as soon.The drawbacks are more than merits since the

students

Use synonyms

have a high chance of early marriage and dropping out of

school

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

,learners who travel or work before attending college find themselves having responsibilities just by the touch of money.

This

Linking Words

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

ideally they end up getting married.Due to the technology being prominent that they get exposed in a way they forget about education.

In addition

Linking Words

,just being away from the learning environment keep the thought of going back to

school

Use synonyms

away.

For example

Linking Words

,in 2019 the star newspapers reported that public vehicle conductors are

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

four leavers with high grades.

Therefore

Linking Words

,it is apparent that the exposure of not going on with schooling is high once the scholar travel or work before going to an institute.

Secondly

Linking Words

,dropping out of

school

Use synonyms

is a major consequence especially when an undergraduate has tasted money that they feel held on from earning or going for vacations.

Consequently

Linking Words

,they perform badly as their interest is disrupted from the usual flow of being in a learning environment,

For example

Linking Words

,in

Rwanda

Add a comma

,Rwanda

show examples

the government published a policy in 2021 for the transition of

students

Use synonyms

from secondary to university.Indeed,in the modern world

comparing

Change the form of the verb

compared

show examples

to traditional times

school

Use synonyms

dropout is high and again many

students

Use synonyms

in higher learning are multitasking. To sum up,the society stopped reporting immediately to university rather

Change preposition

than go

show examples

abroad or labour for a short time has led to several scholars be multitasking due to many

resposibility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Sun Dec 12 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

gap year
self-discovery
character-building
enhanced
independence
adaptability
interpersonal skills
open-mindedness
global perspective
delayed
employment prospects
financial burden
educational attainment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe that activities of large multinational companies mostly benefit the economies of developing countries, other people take the opposite view and feel these large multinationals are harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are people who believe that multinational enterprises are good to the local economy of developing nations, whereas another people argue that these international companies bring negative consequences. I think there are pros and cons, which will detailed in the next lines.
7.5
band
İn some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both two views and give your opinion.
The most debatable argument worldwide is about the salary earned in various sectors of our community. Few arguments support how the earnings of an individual can be justified equivalence of their type of work and beneficial for the country. On the other hand, some expect that leading authority may anticipate dominance over the salary and put a cap on it. In my perspective, the higher wages are received by the amount of risk driven in particular work within the regulations set by the government.
5
band
In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
The way of storing knowledge changed from books to the internet in the past decades. This led to the controversial issue debating on the topic whether the change of place where people stored their knowledge contributed to positive or negative outcomes. However, after a thorough consideration, though it provides some drawback, it is strongly believed that the beneficial parts should not be put down by any chance.
5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history about house or building they live in. What are reason for this? how can people research it?
It is no denying that individuals want to know about the history of houses or apartments they actually stay in a number of countries. There are several reasons for this, because people need to know the value of their place more specifically, and also need more information to expand or reconstruct their buildings. To find out the information, citizens can use government's system as it is normally open to the public.
5.5
band
Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Advanced technology has taken over people's lives in recent times. It is argued that life was less complex in the past when there was no technology. I completely disagree with this statement and believe that sophisticated technology has made our lives more convenient and less laborious and improved the education system.

Some people do not go directly to college but travel or work for a short time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Some people believe that activities of large multinational companies mostly benefit the economies of developing countries, other people take the opposite view and feel these large multinationals are harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

İn some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both two views and give your opinion.

In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history about house or building they live in. What are reason for this? how can people research it?

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?