IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people spend most of their living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantage?

#people
Some individuals receive a comfortable feeling when they live their entire
life
 in their hometown. Emotional support is seen to be the main advantage while stagnant
life
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
identified as the major drawback. On the
one
 hand, living near
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place where
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 families and friends will give you emotional support. In
Add an article
a time
the time
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 of trouble, they can easily call them physically and they can immediately
response
Replace the word
respond
show examples
 and come over to help.
For example
,
Filipino
Change preposition
in Filipino
show examples
cultured
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 we have
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
 “extended families”, families where all their relatives are staying in
one
 compound or in
one
 house. Even your friends,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are staying in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same barangay or barrio. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, you have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
easy access to all of them personally without having difficulty and can gain more bonding memories.
On the other hand
, staying in the same place where you
rooted
Add a missing verb
are rooted
show examples
 can give you a stagnant
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. You will never gain new things, new knowledge, new job opportunities and meet people.
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 will never help you to stand on your own because you always think that you have your families and friends on the side.
For instance
, many young generations, still don’t know what the word responsibility is and
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 contented
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 what opportunity they have,
hence
, they are taking for granted all the things
hey
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 surround them. In conclusion, living close to your
love
Replace the word
loved
show examples
one
 can give your more support in times of need. While staying near them can give you
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 opportunities to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
.
However
, it’s up to people whether they
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 the way they used to be or not.
Submitted by maryaizee_14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: