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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #information #research #business #world
There is
such
 a big discussion in the
society
, about whether if it is okay to display every scientific
knowledge
 and research. Some agree that every information should be equally shared, somehow many
individuals
 believe that it may danger interests of countries and humanity. I hardly believe
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that most of the researches should be publicly announced,
further
Add a comma
,further
show examples
 there are few that should not be known by
society
. People which asks for every academic study to be freely
Correct your spelling
spread
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
, mostly have positive intentions,
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every situation. They believe that any study should be found on the internet for free of charge and anyone may be able to examine it.
Moreover
, these
individuals
 agree that technology and
knowledge
 will spread faster
due to
Correct word choice
because
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be found anywhere on
web
Add an article
the web
show examples
. These
individuals
 commonly think that
knowledge
 is our humanitarian value and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not be hidden from the universe.
Individuals
 which wants not every research to be published, agree that it may
cause
 danger against
society
 or it may put businesses in danger.
Furthermore
, for
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
 some information about space and nuclear projects may alert nations and may
cause
 disorder in societies. With no
doubt
Add a comma
,doubt
show examples
 some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
CEO's do not want researches to be released in case not to lose
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of their companies and they do not want their techniques to be learnt. In my opinion, both sides have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 parts. I come up to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 conclusion that most of the
knowledge
 should be open to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 except ones that can
cause
threat
Fix the agreement mistake
threats
show examples
 against humanity in case if it gets into evil hands
such
 as, military technologies and
Correct your spelling
databases
show examples
data bases
Correct your spelling
databases
show examples
 of countries. In conclusion, some people demand information to be
totally
Replace the adverb
total
show examples
 of charge and open to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. Somehow many do believe that there are
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 that can not be posted publicly because it may
cause
 disorder in
society
.
Submitted by senayx on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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