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Band 5.5

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefits more from this, the community or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses #community
There is a controversial heating
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
debate over the fact that an accelerating number of young volunteers are now doing unpaid
work
 to help
communities
 in developing countries.
This
 essay is dedicated to the underlying roots of
this
 activity and I contend that
both
youngsters
 and underprivileged citizens can
gain
 merits from
this
. Without a shadow of
doubt
Add an article
a doubt
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, there is a myriad of reasons why
youngsters
 from affluent nations are participating in doing unpaid
work
 in poorer countries and one of which is they want to do good to those
communities
. Young
people
 always have strength and knowledge so
besides
 making financial contributions, they can use their insights for teaching juvenile and physical health for constructing shelters to enhance the impoverished
communities
’ living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
.
For example
, UNICEF and UNESCO are well-known organisations that have recently contributed
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 to 52million hungry
people
 in Africa by giving them houses and teaching kids and
this
 organisation is led maximum by young
people
.
Hence
, it is irrefutable to note that the desire to do wonders for the life of the more underprivileged
people
 is the main root for
this
 beneficial activity of the young. By doing so,
both
 the adolescents and poor
communities
 can
gain
 redeeming features from
this
 optimistic unpaid
work
. Apparently,
youngsters
 can
gain
 invaluable experience and widen their social circle with
people
 all around the world, who are like-minded with them and fond of helping others. As for the communication, they will have higher living quality and their toddlers will be well-taught. Due to these upsides, it is undeniable to note that
both
 the young and poor
communities
 can receive the pros from the activity. In conclusion, the obvious root for
this
 unpaid
work
 of
youngsters
 is that they want to contribute to the community to bring an optimistic effect on the underprivileged
people’
Correct your spelling
people's
show examples
 living standard and
both
 of them can
gain
 tremendous benefits from
this
 unpaid
work
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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