IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Worker often have to retire at the age of 60 or 65. However, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#minutes #topic #worker #age #people
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Nowadays, All-over the world, various sections of
people
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 in society encounter an extensive discussion about working life after retirement
age
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. Some group of members believes that continuing professional
work
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 after old
age
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 is difficult, and should be restricted by the authorities with stringent rules by considering the social benefits, whereas others have an opinion that old
people
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 should be allowed to
work
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 until their wish.
However
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, I strongly support the former opinion.
Additionally
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,
this
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 essay describes my views along with supportive examples.
Firstly
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, there are several arguments in favour of my stance. One of the most important points that one needs to consider here is, it will help society in solving unemployment issues. Some countries have a strict rule that none of the citizens is allowed after a certain
age
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. Due to
this
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, they are creating vacant roles which will get replaced by freshers.
For instance
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, Japan has brought down their current unemployment rate to 20% less than the previous year.
Hence
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, many countries are looking for imposing
this
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 option.
Secondly
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, another significant reason why I support the idea of not allowing old
age
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people
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 to
work
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 after retirement is that their deprived health condition. There is a widespread worry that It would trigger the worst consequences in their lives if they were allowed to
work
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 even in that severe unhealthy position.
For example
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, as per the survey, on average 10% of old
people
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 are dying every year because of high pressure at
work
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.
Thus
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, many old
people
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 have been retiring at 60 years. To conclude, while analysing the discussed points, it is wise to tell that the old
age
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people
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 should not be allowed to
work
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 despite having a necessity to
work
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 for a living.
Submitted by ravikumarregalla on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • prolonged employment
  • skills gap
  • inclusive workplace
  • youth employment opportunities
  • health concerns
  • continuous training
  • personal autonomy
  • financial readiness
  • pension systems
  • demographic changes
  • labor market
  • intergenerational knowledge transfer
  • mentorship programs
  • workplace adaptations
What to do next:
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