IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #activities #children’s #development #computer #games
Some individuals believe that playing outside has a more positive effect on
children
's
development
 rather than playing
computer
games
. I share the idea that being involved in outdoor
activities
 is more beneficial than playing
computer
games
. Active
development
 is the main reason for including outdoor
activities
 in
children
's life. All people know that the
development
 of
children
 is an extremely significant part of building a personality. To do so parents should try to involve their
children
 in exploring local insects, animals or playing different
games
such
 as football, riding bicycles, and many others.
This
 will only expand the knowledge of
children
, and
consequently
 have a positive effect on their
development
.
This
 is
also
 important to have a healthy generation in the future. Parents can join their
children
 or they can find some friends around and
also
 be socially active.
For example
, a father can teach his son how to bicycle or how to take care of plants and trees. The
next
 important reason for doing more outdoor
activities
 for
children
 is avoiding physical problems, which can cause
computer
games
. Currently, a lot of people including
children
 suffer from different side effects of a lazy lifestyle and obesity can exemplify it. To avoid problems with physical health in the future, spending a couple of hours should be recommended to all
children
. Of course, little time spent playing
computer
games
 will not hurt
children
, but it is important to limit it. To sum up,
children
 should do more outdoor
activities
 and play
computer
games
 less.
Submitted by vascomunguarepenete on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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