IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do to try and have a satisfying working life?

#people #career #path #lives #argue #life
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It is true that deciding a goal during school is beneficial and increases the success
rate’too
Correct your spelling
rate too
.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 enough for a satisfying
life
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, focusing on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health is equally important in order to maintain a prosperous
life
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. I believe, there has to be a clear vision, but without compromising health. It’s commonly seen that some people choose their dream during their high school education so that
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 right direction can be provided to them.
However
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, sometimes
such
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 decisions might build unwanted pressure as well. But timely decision helps in acquiring
required
Correct article usage
the required
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 skills for set target and
diminishes
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diminish
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 failure rates.
Additionally
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, teenage is a critical juncture of
a
Remove the article
apply
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life
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. Knowing
onself
Correct your spelling
oneself
 is
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 important, it will only broaden the horizon, but
also
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 remove hurdles and distractions.
For instance
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, great batsman Sachin Tendulkar wanted to become a cricketer since his childhood. He went
hard
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a hard
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time
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,
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apply
show examples
 but never gave up.
Therefore
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, needless to mention decision and determination made the world’s number
one
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 batsman and
one
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 of the richest cricketers globally. To embark with,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
staying healthy has become
one
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 of the major
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 in recent times.
Pople
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People
show examples
 must fetch some
time
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 to take care of their health and well being. Today’s world is full of
compettions
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competitions
competition
 and people have no enough
time
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 for physical activity and relaxation.
Moreover
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, stress and
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sedentary
sydentary
Correct article usage
a sydentary
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 lifestyle causes hormonal imbalance and might lead them to an unsatisfying
life
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.
Thus
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, there has to
at
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be at
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 least an hour in a day where
one
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 can spend some
time
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 for their mental peace and
tranquility
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tranquillity
show examples
 and can try yoga and meditation in order to stay calm. In conclusion, I believe that
shaping-up
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shaping up
show examples
 a career requires a direction that should be decided beforehand so that
candidate
Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
show examples
 have clarity and
one
Use synonyms
 can be
prpared
Correct your spelling
prepared
 for it
pscychologically
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psychologically
,
phisically
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physically
 and
ecnomically
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economically
.
Similarly
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 having a healthy lifestyle is imperative too. I think
state
Add an article
the state
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 should promote some
councelling
Correct your spelling
counselling
session
Fix the agreement mistake
sessions
show examples
 for students in order to decide their career and look after their well-being as well.
Submitted by ka261991 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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