Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do to try and have a satisfying working life?

#people #career #path #lives #argue #life

It is true that deciding a goal during school is beneficial and increases the success

rate’too

Correct your spelling

rate too

However

this

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

enough for a satisfying

life

, focusing on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health is equally important in order to maintain a prosperous

life

. I believe, there has to be a clear vision, but without compromising health. It’s commonly seen that some people choose their dream during their high school education so that

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

right direction can be provided to them.

However

, sometimes

such

decisions might build unwanted pressure as well. But timely decision helps in acquiring

required

Correct article usage

the required

show examples

skills for set target and

diminishes

Wrong verb form

diminish

show examples

failure rates.

Additionally

, teenage is a critical juncture of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

life

. Knowing

onself

Correct your spelling

oneself

extremly

Correct your spelling

extremely

important, it will only broaden the horizon, but

also

remove hurdles and distractions.

For instance

, great batsman Sachin Tendulkar wanted to become a cricketer since his childhood. He went

hard

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a hard

show examples

time

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but never gave up.

Therefore

, needless to mention decision and determination made the world’s number

one

batsman and

one

of the richest cricketers globally. To embark with,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

staying healthy has become

one

of the major

challanges

Correct your spelling

challenges

in recent times.

Pople

Correct your spelling

People

show examples

must fetch some

time

to take care of their health and well being. Today’s world is full of

compettions

Correct your spelling

competitions

competition

and people have no enough

time

for physical activity and relaxation.

Moreover

, stress and

Correct your spelling

sedentary

sydentary

Correct article usage

a sydentary

show examples

lifestyle causes hormonal imbalance and might lead them to an unsatisfying

life

Thus

, there has to

Add a missing verb

be at

show examples

least an hour in a day where

one

can spend some

time

for their mental peace and

tranquility

Change the spelling

tranquillity

show examples

and can try yoga and meditation in order to stay calm. In conclusion, I believe that

shaping-up

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shaping up

show examples

a career requires a direction that should be decided beforehand so that

candidate

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candidates

show examples

have clarity and

one

can be

prpared

Correct your spelling

prepared

for it

pscychologically

Correct your spelling

psychologically

phisically

Correct your spelling

physically

and

ecnomically

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economically

Similarly

having a healthy lifestyle is imperative too. I think

state

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the state

show examples

should promote some

councelling

Correct your spelling

counselling

session

Fix the agreement mistake

sessions

show examples

for students in order to decide their career and look after their well-being as well.

Submitted by ka261991 on Wed Dec 15 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Fully explain your ideas

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