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Band 2.5

Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#government #money #railway #roads
Some
people
 say that the government should spend their revenues on public transport
such
 as railway
instead
 of roads. I completely agree with
this
 statement because
Add an article
the train
a train
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train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
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 can solve the issue of traffic jams and
also
 help with decreasing air pollution in the city.
First
 of all, the government should expand their route of the railways to encourage
people
 to use a train
instead
 of their own private
car
 to reduce
on
Add a hyphen
on-road
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road
Add an article
the road
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 time. According to Chula University observation, at 8 a.m in the
morning
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,morning
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 the dense of the traffic is extremely high and
people
 are rushing to get to their workplace on time. In the worst case, there was a lot of
car
 accident and ended
people
life
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lived
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 for almost 2.3 thousand a month.
Moreover
, these private
vehicle
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vehicles
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 produce and release carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide
to
Change preposition
into
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 the air because many
people
 are not taking care of their
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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. From Thai Astronomy Center, they say that our atmospheres got destroyed mainly by the
car
 usage with 62% rates, while the train will cause only 17% at the same number as a
car
. To conclude, the government should make railway rather than roads because
of
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apply
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the benefit
is outweigh
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outweighs
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 the disadvantages and I would recommend adding more
route
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routes
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 to it so it can
accessed
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be accessed
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 by everyone both in city and rural areas.
Submitted by P. on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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