IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extend you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities
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Some argue that a fast-wide development of
Use synonyms
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
 in some states may cause
disadvanteges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvantage
 to local
people
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. The capability of small and local
business
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 are
minim
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minimal
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compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to those supermarkets from national or even
interanational
Correct your spelling
international
coorporation
Correct your spelling
corporation
. I do not agree with that statement, because there are many positive impacts of
supermarket
Use synonyms
 growth for society, in general, and local communities. I will discuss these below followed by reason and example.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, big commercial markets
are usually contain
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usually contain
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 various and branded products that allowed consumers to pick as they wanted to do.
For example
Linking Words
, there
are
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is
show examples
 three
brand
Change to a plural noun
brands
show examples
 of chicken
nugget
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nuggets
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 in
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Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
show examples
supermarket
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supermarkets
show examples
 with three different prices and
quality
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qualities
show examples
, so that
buyer
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buyers
show examples
 might choose
belongs
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to belong
show examples
 to their needs and budgets. But, in small local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
, the choice is quite limited so it may not
satisfied
Wrong verb form
satisfy
show examples
 consumers as they wish. Another reason, in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
market
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, there are often made discount or flash sale that invite many more
people
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 to spend money in here. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 type of
market
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 is likely more popular and give many advantages to the community in general.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the broke of local
people
Use synonyms
 because of
uncompetent
Correct your spelling
incompetent
 enough to compete with new-style of
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market
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the market
show examples
 may bring them to another sector of
business
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 that can not be replaced by
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supermarket
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a supermarket
show examples
. Raising traditional and
Use synonyms
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 values as the
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
 might be a choice.
For instance
Linking Words
, sailing traditional clothes, food,or furniture with
Use synonyms
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 curves in the reliefs is unic and
unreplacable
Correct your spelling
unreplaceable
. It
demonstrate
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demonstrates
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 the strength of locals and
preserve
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preserves
show examples
Use synonyms
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
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 and traditional aspect
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In the other words,
fast
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the fast
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 growth of
modern
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the modern
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market
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 is actually might encourage local society to be creative and enhance their values. To sum up, the
world wide
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worldwide
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 growth of
supermaket
Correct your spelling
supermarket
is actually give
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is actually given
is actually giving
show examples
 many positive issues to the
people
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 in general and locals, because not only
it
Add a missing verb
does it
show examples
 provides much easier way to shopping for the consumers, but
also
Linking Words
 encourage the creativity and enthusiasm of local
people
Use synonyms
 to develop
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business
Add an article
a business
show examples
 based on
Use synonyms
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 values.
Submitted by Vanessanatha on

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Your opinion

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