IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Older generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thought and behaviour. Most people argue that it is not helpful for younger generations to prepare for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#generations #life #behaviour #people
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Opinions differ about whether traditional methods prepare younger generations for
life
 or
is
Correct word choice
if is
show examples
 it needless to teach these ideas.
Elders
 have experienced
life
 deeper than we did, and they may sometimes request
to guide
Wrong verb form
guidance
show examples
 with their
life
 skills.
However
, their way and teachings may not fit into our modern-day society. From my point of view, we should be moderate when taking
advice
 from
elders
; their experience may not suit our age. Many traditional values have developed over the centuries; most older people usually keep these cultural belongings and observe them as their
life
 path and define them as divine. Somehow, the worldwide system does not stay the same. To clarify, yesterday's world will differ compared to today's;
that is
 to say, the
advice
 of
elders
 may not work.
For example
, an elder would tell us not to attend college
due to
 reason finding a job is pretty straightforward.
However
, it is impossible to get accepted into a company without a bachelor's degree in the present day. Obviously, lifestyles change over the years, and old adults can not adapt to new transformations.
Such
 conservative
elders
 may stay against transexual people and
propel us
Verb problem
make
show examples
 wrong decisions about them. There is no doubt that there is a majority who truly believe in the teachings of
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
. In order to mention,
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
 skills of these people are more advanced than ours. Specifically,
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
 society is aware of any knowledge and can transfer these values with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passion to us. They may guide us about how to remain during a war or an economic crisis. As far as I observed,
besides
 these
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 effects of listening to the
elders
, it merely brings uncertainty and misunderstanding of
life
. We should rephrase and reshape these ideas and implement them that way in our minds. In conclusion, taking
advice
 from
elders
 may lead to some problems
such
 as misusage and uncertainty. In order not to have these effects, we should mix and rebuild their
advice
 with our thoughts.
Last
 but not least, listening to
elders
 may prevent us from major problems
such
 as; wars and economic crises.
Submitted by senayx on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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