Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.

It is argued that
women
should get similar opportunities as men in all fields like work and career,
whereas
others think that a lady should stay home and look after their kids and do household chores. I totally disagree with
this
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will discuss why
women
need equality. First of all, the main reason why I think females need the same spot as males is that all human beings are equal and share equivalent rights and responsibilities towards home and work. Indeed, it is a very nicer thing for wives that they can handle the house and take care of the family without asking for money, but it does not mean a good wife just sits home and
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
show examples
energy on these kinds of things rather than focus on her dreams. A man should have to help their woman in all fields
such
as household
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
as well as
determine her work field
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Secondly
, homemakers have the capability to do multiple things simultaneously. As a matter of fact, a woman can help to reduce the workload in the workplace
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
.
Furthermore
, females can add extra income to the family. A recent study has shown that 98.5% of
women
are working in the United Kingdom, which minimizes the stress level of a man and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
regarding their financial needs.
Last
not
Correct word choice
but not
show examples
least, the government should encourage and enforce laws for females to take
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time to step
on
Change preposition
up
show examples
their career ladder.
For example
, the Indian government always reserves some countable seats for ladies in some workplaces. To wrap up, it will be more beneficial if the government and the families support
women
to achieve their goals.
As a result
of
this
, they will get equality in society.
Submitted by kawankaur on

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task response
Improve the organization of ideas to follow a clear and logical structure. Revise the introduction and conclusion to provide a more effective framework for the essay. Ensure that the main points are well-supported with relevant examples and details.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion. Use transitional words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender equality
  • Women empowerment
  • Breaking stereotypes
  • Equal opportunities
  • Career advancement
  • Progressive societies
  • Work-life balance
  • Changing perceptions
  • Successful women
What to do next:
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