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Band 4

Some people spend most of their life living close to where they are born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #life #reason
It is always
topic
Correct article usage
a topic
show examples
 of discussion whether an individual should prefer to leave near to their
hometown
 where he was born or else live in a place
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 offers opportunities for building
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
 career or business. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the pros and cons of staying near our native towns. On one hand, the major
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 of people spending their life at their
hometown
 is that they stay
closed
Change the form of the verb
close
show examples
 to their family and friends and
this
 let them to bond with their loved ones.
Moreover
, a person can visit their parents and relatives more often and stay in touch with them. According to the survey conducted by the
Tata
Add a comma
,Tata
show examples
 management university
Correct your spelling
revealed
show examples
reveled
Correct your spelling
revealed
show examples
 that 45 % of respondents wanted to settle near to their
hometown
 as they are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the wellbeing of their parents and social issues that are pertaining to the town. On other hand, an individual who has been shifted away from their native tend to feel a sense of isolation and remains
disconnect
Wrong verb form
disconnected
show examples
 from their family and companions.
Furthermore
,
this
 may lead to depression, anxiety and
mood related
Add a hyphen
mood-related
show examples
 issues which can affect the person’s Productivity at work.
Hence
 it is acceptable that students studying far from their respective town feel homesick and prefer taking at their
hometown
 To sum up, despite
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of benefits of living
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your native place, it is an individual choice of staying near their
hometown
 and connected with his family and well-wishers or else undertake an employment opportunity aboard and full fill their dreams.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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