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Band 2.5

In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience.

#countries #goods #entertainment #development
Nowadays, shopping become more popular. Some
people
 believe that
people
 have to buy only needy things, while others believe that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be used for entertainment only.
This
 essay will examine both positive and negative perspectives in coming paragraphs before reaching a logical conclusion. On the one hand, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of positive impacts of buying those things which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 only needed. To start with,
people
 can save their money by avoiding other products.
Moreover
, it saves their
time
 too. Masses can invest their money and
time
 in their work as well as for their future.
On the other hand
,
people
 go
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fun. Whenever they want to meet friends and relatives, they go
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping waste their
time
 and money.
Furthermore
, nowadays,
people
 live in a virtual world, where they just show off their branded clothes and their visits to shopping malls on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media. A recent theory in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 conducted that
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 buy more stuff rather than older
people
. To
be conclude
Change the verb form
conclude
show examples
, Shopping cannot take as a fun thing because sometimes
people
 buy many things and after some
time
, they regret
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that.
Therefore
, I believe that shopping can be done
in
Change preposition
within
show examples
 a limit only.
Submitted by kawankaur on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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