Most Modern Families have both parents working and as a result children spend less time with their parents What is the reason for this? What problems can this cause?

#families #parents #children #time #reason

Nowadays in many

families

Add a comma

,families

show examples

it's been observed that

both

parents

are working to provide for their household.

As a

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

this

has led to many

issues

. In

this

essay

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,essay

show examples

I will be discussing the main reason for

this phenomena

Change the determiner

this phenomenon

these phenomena

show examples

and what problems come with it .

To begin

with , in recent years the cost of living has hit skyrocket so in order to have and maintain a decent

life

both

parents

are obligated to work so the family will have a stable financial income.

Therefore

this

has brought many

issues

for our youngsters.

First

and foremost,

children

with

both

parents

working lack parental guidance and feel neglected by their

parents

As a

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

children

will turn to other people for guidance and these individuals may influence them in a bad manner .

For example

, the American

society

Change the capitalization

Society

show examples

for the positive care of

children

had published an article that showed a correlation between

children

becoming violent and aggressive in school and lack of parental supervision.

moreover

children

will grow up not having the love and the support of

parents

issues

that they face in daily

life

. In

return

Add a comma

,return

show examples

they will end up with weak personalities and no emotional bond

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

parents

and

this

will affect their relationship with their own

children

in the future.

Furthermore

children

may feel abandoned by their

parents

and not loved. Due to the fact that

parents

do not have the time available to care for their

children

sufficiently.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

children

may perform poorly at school because

parents

are busy working and no one is paying attention to the child's education.

As a

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

they may not have good qualifications to get a decent job .

In addition

to that

parents

may argue about whose job is more important and who needs to take time off for domestic

issues

which may lead to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

distress in the home and eventually

this

will affect

children

in a negative way. To sum up,

bescuse

Correct your spelling

because

of the increases in the daily

life

cost , in most houses

both

parents

have to work to provide for their offspring.

This

has led to many

issues

that will affect mainly our youngsters in their adult

life

later on.

Submitted by ph.amal.just on Thu Dec 16 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

369 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most Modern Families have both parents working and as a result children spend less time with their parents What is the reason for this? What problems can this cause?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some scientist thinks that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think it is a bad idea and would be dangerous, Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many offenders commit more crime after serving their first punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Human activities have negative effects on the environment. Some people believe it is too late to take measures to prevent animals and plants from dying out. Others think actions should be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.