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Writing Samples
Band 4

Only 20% of Tech Jobs are Held by Women. What problems do women face that prevent them from getting these jobs and what must be done to change this situation?

#tech #jobs #women #face #change #situation
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Women
Use synonyms
 play a major role in computing for centuries.
However
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, only 20% of the
women
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 are in tech-based jobs.
This
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 essay will discuss some of the problems that
women
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 face and what can be the possible ways to help them get successful in their tech domain. According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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past surveys,
computing
Correct article usage
the computing
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 sector is one of the worst impacted career fields when it comes to sexual orientation. One of the foremost reasons
are
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is
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 that they are unappreciated in the workplace.
Moreover
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, the higher authorities show doubt in the chances of
women
Use synonyms
 addressing and resolving specialized issues. Another reason is that the working
women
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 come from a family where there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chaos and pressure from both the family and work push them into a deep pit from where they are trying to escape
from
Change preposition
for
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 a long time. Most of their energy is spent totally on validating their balance. The organization should take these issues seriously and try to solve
it
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them
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 by sensitizing sexual orientations at the workplace,
such
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 as providing them
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 opportunity and support to lead the team, appreciating them
occassionally
Correct your spelling
occasionally
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will motivate them to give their best. Family should aid them by removing the society obstructions pushed on them. Ladies should feel more
secured
Wrong verb form
secure
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 and protected all the time. There are diverse companies
such
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 as McKinsey,
believe
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who believe
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 that
women
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 in computers greatly outweigh any costs. The best way to shrink the
women
Use synonyms
 in computing is to encourage them to consider technology careers. They can always volunteer for the projects even if they might not have enough knowledge to learn and outsource themselves.
Submitted by shailjameel2410 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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