Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Time
Use synonyms
management is the best thing that every person follow. People have their own choices that how much
time
Use synonyms
spend on every
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
show examples
. Whatever, I will discuss that
Use synonyms
compunies
Correct your spelling
companies
either
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
their
employees
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
in others activities or spend whole
time
Use synonyms
for
work
Use synonyms
.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the end, I give my opinion as well. We see surrounding us that every person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to
focusing
Change the verb form
focus
show examples
on their fitness. On behalf of,
Use synonyms
Compunies
Correct your spelling
Companies
should give
time
Use synonyms
to their
employees
Use synonyms
for
exercise
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Exercise
Use synonyms
is the
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
which
refreshing
Wrong verb form
refreshes
show examples
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
within few times.
Employees
Use synonyms
have lots of
Use synonyms
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
and they
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
too much stress.
For example
Linking Words
, Many
Use synonyms
compunies
Correct your spelling
companies
are constructing
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
in their
field
Correct your spelling
fieldwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. They
also
Linking Words
make rules for
employees
Use synonyms
for their fitness reasons.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Employees
Use synonyms
have
losts
Correct your spelling
lots
of
work
Use synonyms
on their working schedule so they do not have
time
Use synonyms
for
exercise
Use synonyms
.
Forethat
Correct your spelling
For that
,
Use synonyms
Compunies
Correct your spelling
Companies
should change
time
Use synonyms
schedule and give some
time
Use synonyms
for
exercise
Use synonyms
. Two things
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been happening that employee
manage
Change the verb form
manages
show examples
both things at one
time
Use synonyms
. On the
second
Linking Words
side,
Use synonyms
Compunies
Correct your spelling
Companies
are more focused on
work
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
,
There
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
are lots of
Use synonyms
Compunies
Correct your spelling
Companies
construction in today's world. Meanwhile, Competition
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been
promoting
Wrong verb form
promoted
show examples
together and if any
Compuny
Correct your spelling
Company
wants to become
Linking Words
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
place for that man
work
Use synonyms
needs more.
For example
Linking Words
,
Employees
Use synonyms
take more
time
Use synonyms
giving in their
work
Use synonyms
so automatically good results pop-out.
Secondly
Linking Words
,Every
Use synonyms
compunies
Correct your spelling
companies
work
Use synonyms
for their fam in the world.
Forethat
Correct your spelling
For that
,
Employees
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
as quantity and quality for
time
Use synonyms
rather focusing on
exercise
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, Every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
have become proud
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
any famous
Use synonyms
compunies
Correct your spelling
companies
work
Use synonyms
for their countries. Due to many
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
as I mentioned above,
Use synonyms
compunies
Correct your spelling
companies
should
given
Change the verb form
give
be given
show examples
time
Use synonyms
for
exercise
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shailpatel1101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: